in place

 OK, I think that today may have been the first time, after about nine years total living in this town, that I feel maybe not totally out of place.  Look, I'm not exaggerating - this is not a place where I easily just fit in, like New Orleans, or even West Africa.  People are friendlier to me in almost any place else in the world, even places like Paris - I mean, people pretend to be friendly here, but they aren't really.  I don't even fully understand it, but it has never been a good match, this town and me.  I've even been fired from at least two jobs here that I can remember.  Maybe three.  A lot.  I can't think of any other jobs that I've ever been fired from, except for here.  And it was never for not doing my job well - it's that people just don't like me.  I speak up, for one thing - that's really frowned upon here.  But if it's bullshit, I'm calling it out.  And people Do. Not. Like. That.  

But today - first, there was the volunteer event and being told that I've quickly become critical to the work.  In addition to providing storage, I typed up and printed out hundreds of labels, which was also appreciated.  These are things I can easily do, but to be part of something because of easy things for me - it's makes me not the outsider.  

Then there's something almost superstitious that came together.  Yesterday I took containers of minestrone to the LIttle Free Refrigerator to my house, and it was filled with dozens of sandwiches.  Nice combo, I thought.  

Today, I took over some nice local salad dressing and a sauce that goes on bean and rice bowls.  They're both very tasty, but they just expired and I wouldn't use them quickly enough, and they were unopened, so I just took them over.  The people who frequent the LFR and pantry are various - some don't have any access to cooking but others do.  I figured somebody could use them and enjoy them as much as I do (though I forgot about them this time) - they're definitely not cheap (I bought them on sale - they're way too expensive at full price).  I'm not going to beat myself for forgetting about them, what good does that do.  

Walked over to see ... the fridge had heaps of spinach and other salad vegetables, and the pantry had multiple bags and cans of rice and beans.  

Again, just easily for me, I added something that made things better.  

Maybe the days of being the loathed outsider are mostly behind me.