drowning in pears

 Some year I should count how many pears I process, but this is not that year.

Tonight: more jars done.  Filling up the dehydrator again now, taking a break.  

**

OK, I just checked again this morning and actually I'm in good shape.  I gave away a lot of pears and now it's very manageable, and I'm giving away one more bag in trade with someone for some Italian plums.  So yes, giving things away is very helpful.  The ones we picked this last weekend will be ready for processing later this week or next weekend.  I may just prep and chop the ones ready now, maybe make a batch of pear muffins, and freeze the rest.  

I just called in sick to work.  Yesterday I was falling apart and so super short-tempered it's going to get me into trouble.  I'd slept maybe two hours - first I had insomnia, and then the dog had me up throughout the night and she was barking at 3 am so I had to fight her to get inside instead of kill a possum. So I was completely exhausted and frazzled, and then I was on some work things that someone else had fucked up, and I was not at my best.  I needed to stop communicating to avoid being unnecessarily confrontational.  

I slept ok last night but I can still feel myself struggling, and I'm having a pain flare up, so fuck it.  Got coverage for one thing I needed, all the rest can wait.  By not working these 8 hours I'll have to make them up another time, but I'd rather work late and on a weekend than go to work today and let people know what I really think about them.  Exhaustion just strips away my very thin veneer of politeness.  And I need to live in this world with these people for another 2.5 years.  Well, two years, five months, and about two weeks now.  Yes, I count the days.  

It's just one day off but I'm hoping to lay around and read a lot.  Make those pear muffins.  Hopefully rally enough to clean the kitchen floor which is sticky with pear juice in spots that I missed.  Start another jar of pickles since I gave them all away.   Low energy things to make my space better.  

speaking of the dog and exhaustion, I had the gate open again and she got out.  That only happens when I'm not functioning ok.  Thank god she was disoriented by it and I was able to grab her and shove her back in the yard and close the gate.  That's twice in three and a half years and thankfully neither has led to an attack - both times when I was sleep-deprived.  I just cannot function without enough sleep.  Nothing reflects that more clearly than my inability to keep my dog and every other dog safe, which is a basic life requirement.  Second is also being snippy with people in power who are getting annoyed with me for things outside my control - and this can have long-term consequences that would make my professional life very unpleasant for the next two years, five months, and two weeks. VERY unpleasant. 

Anyway, I'm heading out for a very quick trip out to pick up some plums and give the person zucchini, pears, and peppers.  I'll keep on a hat, keep my head low, don't want to be seen.  I'd bike if I felt better.  

And then I'll park myself on the couch to rest.  

**

OK got the plums and drove past my elderly neighbor's house and remembered I need to make some efforts with her.  She's made attempts to be welcoming and I'm just always too overwhelmed.  Her husband passed last year after a tough time.  I just reached out to offer some produce, we'll see where that goes.  I do want to get some more pickles going so I just washed cucumbers.  

Got cardamon pear oat muffins in the oven and they smell great.  If they taste as good, I'll want to make another batch soon to freeze before the pears are gone.  They start with soaking the oats in milk and I'll bet I could use yogurt for that even better when I need to use up some yogurt.  Currently about half the yogurt I make goes to the dog, and once she passes I'm not sure if I'll want to keep up the practice of making it, especially since we have a nice local producer.  We'll see.  

It's been nice how little waste I produce by things like making my own yogurt into glass jars.  I was trying to find containers to take soup to neighbor and could only find one cottage cheese and one sour cream container.  I'm just not buying a lot of other things, and of course milk doesn't come in a reusable container (unless I pay a looooot more from an artisan dairy, which I'm not intending to do).  I'm always walking this tight rope with my food spending between my priorities of being frugal and being political with my food (reduce transportation miles, emphasize regenerative agriculture, support local growers, etc. etc.).  Some things are easy - I'm 100% not intending to buy supermarket zucchini which is GMO.  The farm out the road isn't organic but they're very transparent about their practices and actually push back on organic myths, and they grow and sell a lot (though I haven't been out there for a couple of months as I'm growing most of what I want for myself).   

**

Got the Italian plums in the dehydrator.  I only halved them and they were pretty large, so it'll take awhile.  It's been about 20 hours so far.  I've flipped them once so far.  NOt sure if I'll run them through the night again; probably, to finish them.  Friend from Grad School dropped off her dehydrator this morning early on her way to the airport to South America because I'd mentioned I could use it and didn't follow back up with her when I realized I probably don't need to.  It was nice of her for sure.   

Today is now Friday and it's a day of tackling things, but I'm not giving up all that energy to work as usual.  No, I tackled my own tasks.  I made some more pear muffins, I cleaned the bathroom, I wiped down the kitchen cabinets (though probably need to hit harder more spots where fruit juice had dried because I missed it earlier).  Yesterday I started shelling dry beans; I got about 1/2 pound of Jacob's cattle beans.  I'll wait until I get all of them and then I'll see if I have enough to cook some or if I want to grow more.  Growing dry beans is so easy, it just takes a lot of space to get enough.  I eat probably about 20# of dry beans per year.  It's hard to me to justify growing black beans or garbanzos because I can buy them so easily, but to grow a variety of different beans seems worth it.  

I'm just really itching to get to those grapes.  They smell so good and they taste just as good.  They are just like grape jolly ranchers, without the stickiness.  I spit out the seeds and skin, and the middle part is so good.  I just need to start - pick some, clean them and destem, into freezer.  Thaw, mill, sieve, cook for hours.  

The green plums are still coming in and I keep going out and getting more.  They're kind of hidden but once I dig in, there are so many.  I took another bunch to the office yesterday and I may take more because my secretary said her family really liked them, and I'm sure she doesn't make enough money.  I wish they could buy my house but it's probably too expensive for them.  It would be so nice to have kids in the neighborhood - I don't know of any.  

Today is day 3 of a batch of lacto-fermented pickles, which is when I start thinking about putting them in the fridge (it's warm in my kitchen in summer), but today it's wild - it's frothing strenuously, and peppercorns are pushing up and down.  It's quite the reaction going on in that jar and I dont' have the will to curb that because it's entertaining me.  

**

Yay for Saturday.  I did pull the plug on the plums dehydrating last night and I'm glad I did - about 20% are done and most of the rest are close.  If they'd gone all night they would be really REALLY dry.  

Now I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the remaining pears.  I may just dehydrate them all because I could turn them into sauce from dried if I really wanted down the line.  They are in really good shape, these at the end of the season.  FEw of the beat up wormy ones I was handling earlier.  I did also dig out more quart jars (by transferring dry goods such as beans to containers I can't can in), but a quart of pears is a lot and I prefer a pint jar to eat 2-3 servings of.   I may still do some, to use up the last of the apple juice that I'm canning with (watered down so it's 50/50 or less).  I do not drink juice except on very rare occasion, haven't for years.  Even before I got into this health focus, I knew certain things weren't good for me, especially in the morning - things like doughnuts, oatmeal, juice - those things whack my blood sugar out for the whole day if I have them before noon.  At least I assume that's what it is - I just know it makes me really hungry and out of sorts all day, and I figured that out decades ago.  Give me the protein and fat in the morning with some whole grains.  (So oatmeal or porridge can be ok if I'm adding whole milk, butter, eat with an egg, etc.  That's what I did in Ghana and i was fine so long as no sugar was added to my porridge.)  

It's a cloud morning and I'm loving it.  At some point today I'll pick more plums to take to share with the the little free pantry, and tomorrow I"ll pick plums to take to work for my coworkers who reported liking them.  this morning I need to gear up (long sleeves, gloves) and pick more tomatoes - my San Marzano is going gangbusters.  I definitely will make a big batch of salsa and I'm not sure what else.  I do not enjoy peeling tomatoes for diced tomatoes, which is what I use most frequently.  I still have tomato sauce that I canned from last year and haven't used.  Maybe once I get the salsa done (and I dont' eat much salsa either, but Dear Friend loves it so I"ll give her a bunch as she's planning a trip here soon), I'll just give all the rest away.  And remind myself next year that I do not need to grow them - if I want to eat tomatoes I can pick a few up at the farmers market, and if I want to can any I can go out to the farmstand.  I probably need to hack back the San Marzano because it is getting so massive.  I neglect these so completely, I haven't even watered them since I put them in months ago and we haven't seen any rain, but they are powerhouse producers.  I have a theory though that they're part of my season allergy problems - I am so miserable if they make contact with my skin, and they are so pollen heavy that I often mask up as well.  When I have contact and wash it off with soap, the lather and runoff is chartreuse and I have to scrub repeatedly to be free of the pollen.  

ANYWAY.  It's August, so busy garden time.  An embarrassment of riches.  

Oof, I need to be careful when I'm picking plums - I keep craning my neck and hurting it.  That's ok for five minutes, not good when longer.  Seemed harder to see the plums this morning because of the cloudiness.  A lot of times I just reach and feel and that's how I find the plums the best.  

My FB algorithm sometimes is spot on; I keep getting ads for tuna for canning.  And so I can't stop thinking about it.  Even when I ran the cost per ounce and realized it's cheaper to buy at the store already tinned, I can't stop thinking about it.  Now I think it'll be my birthday present to myself.  I'd like to do it in wide mouth half pints, and I think i found a store that carries those (it's not a popular size here).  I think I'll go by the market today to see and talk with them about it.  What I'd really like is salmon for canning, that's what I grew up with and have done whenever I've lived near the ocean.  Usually it's free to me, so buying it is weird.  Once I told a boyfriend I wanted some salmon for canning, thinking he'd get a couple, and then I came home from work to an overflowing bathtub full of sooooo many salmon.  We were up all night canning and stuffing the freezr.  I must have been awful when teaching the next day.  Canning fish isn't bad really, easier than a lot of other things.  And it tastes so good.  I tried to buy canned salmon once and had to return it because it tasted like spawned out chum.  SO. GROSS.  But having a pantry full of homecanned salmon is to never be hungry.  It's so good even though I never really figured out enough ways to eat it.  I think I'm more creative now.  But I will bet that home-canned tuna is also so much better than the cans in the store.  

It's not even 11 am yet and I feel like I'm fading for the day.  Hopefully I get a second wind.  

**

Whooo weee, that's four hours of my life that I won't get back.  Peeling tomatoes, picking and chopping peppers, etc.  I have two pots of salsa starting to simmer.  Not sure how much it'll make, maybe 5 quarts worth, though I will cook it down as it looks pretty watery though I did drain the tomatoes and I'm using paste tomatoes.  I have not peeled tomatoes in the past and they like rolled up and were annoying.  Anyway, this is almost a whole day's work for something I don't use much and can easily buy at the store, so ... Yeah.  Sometimes I enjoy cooking for the sake of cooking, spending time over the hot stove and tasting things and all that, but I feel like I have enough other things to do and don't really need that for salsa.  I will say that it already tastes good.  That's always the problem - my food tastes better.     

Update: it's about nine pints of salsa, and all told it was about 7 hours.  I was doing other things too, but still.  That's a lot of time.  Part of it's because my canner is small, only fits up to five jars.  But it is also gratifying to see those jars lined up - in a size that works for me (half pints mostly) and tasty.  Everything except the onions and spices are from my yard - the tomatoes and peppers and garlic.  

And I finished up drying the Italian plums, which aren't from my yard but are from a neighbor's yard not far away and which I got in trade for things from my yard.  Did another dehydrator load of pears overnight, now giving the workhorse dehydrator a break.  I do need to check all the pears and refrigerate some most likely.  They are so tasty for fresh eating, I want to extend their time.   

I stayed up too late finishing a book which wasn't that great, but I'll get to return it on the way to dog walk so it's off my mind (it was due yesterday).  I have two more books due soon that I need to get through. 

I'm stiff and sore today so moving a bit slowly.  I need to bake sourdough treats for the dog, I'm running low on those and it would be a catastrophe to the dog if I run out.  Also need to make another batch of pear muffins to freeze as I already chopped up the pears.  Also need to make food to eat for the week, a couple of salads (tomato/cucumber/pepper and zucchini apple), probably barley-lentil soup, and tomorrow I'll cook green beans with tofu or sausage, haven't decided which; and later this week I want to make a Mexican zucchini lasagna.  My kitchen floor is sticky again of course, what with processing so many tomatoes, so that needs to get washed again.  Need to try planting winter kohl crops again since they didn't germinate except a few collards that look great, and water things in because tomorrow's supposed to be hot.  It will be one of those weeks at work where I won't have flexibility to my schedule and I expect to work long hours so I'll be lucky to stay on top of the basics of feeding myself.  I do have some meals frozen that I will pull out (lentil shepherds pie, tempeh chili).  I would like to get through the frozen meals so that I can cook a lot and restock during my Labor day week off.  Dear Friend plans to come visit for a big chunk of that week and hopefully I'll stay focused on the things I need to do.  We'll also do some adventuring for farms and foods, but we have gotten better about cooking healthy foods at home.  I'll need to have her make her spicy lentils again because they were really good but when I tried they weren't so great.  

OK, it's time to start rolling towards the dog walk.  Hopefully I'll feel better soon, or at least hopefully I"ll go to bed early, because I have an early work day tomorrow and I really need more sleep.  

days of choban salat

 I lived in Azerbaijan for half a year and what I will always remember is the quality of the fresh food and national pride.  Everyone would talk about food all the time, especially their favorites fruits and vegetables.  There was a bootleg herb guy who would have a cart heaping with many different herbs and greens, standing on the street corner, trying to avoid the police.  I learned so much about produce there, from the pomegranate juice at a stand, to my friend who got me as obsessed as him with feijoa, or another friend who picked mulberries for us to eat while we were on a roadtrip to the roadside stands we'd stop at on worktrips and I'd learn about different types of apricots and honey and whatever else there is.  And eating so many fruits and vegetables and herbs all the time.  It was astounding.  There are many places with people proud of local foods but it's something different there - it's a profound knowledge and active consumption by every single person.  

And one of the things we ate a lot of was choban salat - shepherd's salad, from when they'd be in the field and just chop together what they'd brought with them.  Cucumbers, tomatoes, onion, pepper, salt & pepper.  Now we eat it with olive oil and lemon juice. And it's so good.  I made it a few days ago but I remembered it wrong - adding feta, no pepper.  Today is closer though with an anaheim pepper and no feta.  I'm using onion powder instead of onion and it's an ok substitution.  

And what I learned is that my little cucumbers which I usually pick at cornichon size, never larger than a Persian cucumber, are actually quite nice full size as well.  I'm very surprised by that, but the cucumber I'd missed chopped up quite nicely for the salad.  

i anticipate many of these salads for the next two months or so, until summer fully ends and there are no more cucumbers or tomatoes or peppers.  Very tasty.  

I used to make something similar, with rice vinegar, on toast with hummus.  Also good. 

Some foods make my body hum, and this salad today is one.  

I need to rally soon and head out to climb a ladder to pick a lot of plums.  They are ripe and falling and I don't want them to go to waste and I have people to take them.  

OK, got two gallons, that's good to share.  OK, that's probably too much to share at work, so I'll do others as well.  I think I'll walk around the office if anyone is there and just hand things all out and then leave with what's left.  I'm for sure overthinking this, but it's just a weird time to have an office with nobody there. My boss brought in squash once to share and it sat for far too long and then it just got thrown away, and I am not ok with that.  

 **

Got far too little sleep, couldn't go back to sleep so just got up before 6 and started chores right away.  Yogurt milk is warming, white beans and black beans are in the canner.  New insurance cards are printing.  Once it's 7 am (the time I promised neighbors I wouldn't let the dog out earlier than), I'll harvest for produce to take to the office.  Maybe I'll clean the HVAC filters too and do quick vacuum.  The dog hates being inside for vacuuming.   

Yesterday biking home I saw the woman I'd chatted with about landscaping before and asked if she'd be interested in doing some design work, and so we'll get scheduled in the next few weeks.  I want to do another heavy planting in November to let them establish over rainy winter, and then be done with it.  I had emulated her front yard style in my plantings so I know we're on the same page.  

It was really interesting to see with work yesterday the office of people I regularly work with.  It's all cubicles, even the supervisor, with everything open and everyone paying attention to everyone else.  They are double-size cubicles so everyone has plenty of space.  It makes sense why their group seems so much more cohesive and helpful than others, and I was surprised to see how many of them choose to go to the office every day instead of work remote.  They have to deal with each other and do so helpfully, and their leader is strong.  She can get on my nerves but I definitely see her value.  They decorate for holidays, they went and got comfortable chairs from the thrift store to have a little parlor area, and they even put up portraits of people in a funny way.   I would also want to go to work there.  So, it's interesting to see that the types of connections that I see missing from this community actually can exist - though this is in a different town, so maybe it's also a small town thing.  Not sure.  But maybe I should be open to small towns in this area as a home.  I could do errands here as necessary and I can pay a user fee for the library if necessary.  When I was at the library the other day, I was waiting for the two self-checkouts, both of which were held up by men with bags full of books and videos.  That's how I remember my childhood, getting stacks of books to read.  Now I'm more likely to get one or two at a time, but that's mostly because I'm located so near the library and it's so convenient to pop in regularly.  (And also because I've been requesting a lot of popular books that have a waitlist and aren't immediately available.)   But I could be more thoughtful about my errands.  

The grapes are falling and I had the best of plans to make syrup from them but I'm not sure I have the bandwidth with all the pears and other produce I'm processing.  It might be time to make a batch of salsa this weekend.  

**

Took a paper box and a plastic bag to the office full of produce.  I'd thought I'd give away what people want and then take the rest to a community fridge.  Um, no.  People pounced on that produce so hard, it was gone in a flash.  There's one weird person I work with who was actually disdainful and acted like I was weird to offer (she was standing next to someone else, or I wouldn't have offered to her), but she's not from here.  People who are from here are like YES, IT'S AUGUST, SEASON OF BOUNTY.  My secretary said she would take everything I offer because she has a teen boy and a preteen boy and they are eating them out of house and home.  I was surprised they would eat produce but good for them.  She was like yes, absolutely.  And my other assistant was like, "this is so much better than buying from the store."  Well, now especially with all the safety issues.  So if things stay bountiful I'll make more work runs in addition to the community fridge and friends.  Friend works at Home Depot and her coworkers are always bringing in produce and other foods to share at the breakroom table, which is nice.  

The tomatoes have green shoulders, probably from that heat wave we had.  They'll be fine.  I need to gear myself up for making a big batch of salsa this weekend.  I probably already said that.  

 **

Oof, I'm exhausted and need to call it an early night.  Tomorrow I need to really focus on pears and power through canning a bunch of them.  I may need to crack into my sealed jar stash (a few cases I bought on sale at various points, but I've proudly been reusing sourced used jars so haven't even opened those, though I might).   

**

And now it's Saturday morning.  Slid through another work week.  Just calculated, looks like 128 weeks until my likely retirement date.  I want to believe I can survive this.  

It's a little overcast now at 7:30 am which is great and I'll get out there and do the things.  Water yard, check for harvesting, fill the green bin with branches and maybe do some berry pruning, tighten up the laundry line and do laundry, clean the patio.  Probably climb up to pick plums and pears (though hopefully Friend will come over tomorrow to help finish the pear picking).  Figure out if it's time to start harvesting dry beans and how to save them.  And then I'm in the kitchen powering through food things.  For sure canning pears today.  Then have some errands and back for more kitchen.  

I was running low on ideas for meals for this week since I gave away all my produce, but then I looked again.  I could make Jacob stew because I've got the barley and lentils on hand, there are carrots and parsley in my garden I can use, and I froze cilantro that I can use.  BOOM.  I could make posole because I have some beautiful poblanos in my garden.  And/or a tamale pie with them.  BOOM.  Plus I have the zucchini lasagna that I froze which might be good, so I'll pull some of that out.  And I have little jars of fava pesto that I can put on high protein pasta and eat with choban salat (I saved one tomato and enough cucumbers to make another batch today).  BOOM.  Plus I always keep burritos in my freezer, and sourdough that I can make sandwiches with.  There are also potatoes and turnips in the ground that I can dig.  I should be ok this week, won't starve or turn to unhealthy convenience foods. 

And also i've become someone I thought was cool - many decades ago I stayed with friends of friends of a professor in Germany for a few weeks, and I remember the mother when tasked with preparing dinner, at least for the vegetable side, would just walk out and see what there was.  Once we had a lovely dish with cabbage she said she'd found when brushing aside the snow.  Cool.  And now I'm kind of like that myself.  

Well as I feared, printing my new insurance cards is a bigger hassle than expected.  I put in two new cartridges but nothing is printing.  It worked fine until recently and I thought it was just a low ink issue.  I got the printer for free like two or three years ago and this is the first time I'm replacing the ink, so it's a good deal either way except i'm of course very annoyed by it not working and I'm running tests and diagnostics, but I do need to get outside and do those things instead. OK, I cleaned printer heads to no avail, then ran all updates.  Now I'm powering off and will return later.  I've saved the cards onto my phone, and I try to always have my phone with me in the car because I keep my license in the phone case.  I am a very cautious driver and try to always avoid accidents; the last I can remember is when I backed into a neighbor's car in 2010 because I was in a huge rush (that's the only claim I've ever made), and before that when I drove into a fire hydrant (hidden in foliage) in 2004, and backed into a leaning pole in 1998, and backed into a guard rail in 1984.  But of course if I don't have proof of insurance on me, that's when something bad would happen, even if it hasn't before in 42 years of driving.  Wow, that's crazy that I've been driving for so long.  

The dog is VERY impatient that I get outside RIGHT NOW.  Why?  No good reason, she just wants me to be outside.  She is quite bossy.  Last week I cut myself pretty bad and coudln't stop the bleeding for a long time - I'll get a good scar from it.  Was finally able to stop bleeding and bandaged it up, but the dog was freaked out about it and didn't want me doing anything, much less climbing ladders, and she was body blocking me from everything she considered hazardous.  Silly girl.  

**

OK, did a few things, and now I'm whupped and I haven't even started the main event of the day (canning pears).  I am going to eat, then do a couple of errands, then come back home and push for a rally.   

**

Not only did I do the planned errands but I also did a car wash to get off the bird poop.  IT seems for $5 it doesn't save me much to do myself.  

Got the first load in the canner.  There are still so many pears, it's overwhelming.  I'm just concerned if I give them away that they'll be thrown away because they're imperfect.  

 I'll get out the dehydrator now too.  There's no way around it.  I'll just need to start eating more dehydrated fruit.  

**

Oof, I did not get enough sleep last night and I am sore from all the pears.  I processed maybe around 7 gallons, which isn't a ton but my energy isn't like it used to be.  I found someone to give some away to, though I'll still have a lot.  In three weeks I have a week off, but the pears can't wait.  Maybe the salsa can wait.  Also doubt that the grapes can wait for the grape molasses I want to make, but maybe they can wait awhile, and then I could clean and freeze bags of them which would hasten the process a bit but not be boiling all day.  

Had a low-waste moment yesterday that made me happy.  Well, two.  First, I went to my local home goods store with a 20% off coupon and bought some cotton produce bags.   I have been a bit averse to using such things because they have a weight and I need to ask the cashier to reduce the weight by the printed tare or pay more, and it's just kind of a thing sometimes.  But I'm going to get over it.  I usually buy produce at farmers markets or shops where they do that regularly so it shouldn't be a thing.  I'm saving them money by not using their bags.  Lately my local grocery store cashiers have been noting how I take advantage of the weekly deal - it's like 10% off one day a week of the bulk foods.  And often I'm just picking up a couple of things, though sometimes it's more.  It started with a "wow, all that for only $17" - but i'm buying lentils and oats and whole wheat flour - why wouldn't it be inexpensive?  And then since then, different new cashiers have to keep making some comment about it, like I"m somehow stealing from their paychecks by shopping on the sale day.  At first I thought they were commending me for frugal ways, but it's really started to seem more like a dig at me for taking advantage of their generosity.  Weird.  So the last time a comment was made, I also pointed out that I'm using reusable containers and how many times I've reused them based upon the number of different bin numbers written on them.  That one cottage cheese container has saved 20 bags.  And I don't know how much a bag actually costs a grocery store, but reduce, reuse, recycle, yo.  We're all in this together and I'm also saving the store money with the small inconvenience of bringing my containers.

Anyway, what I meant to talk about was the bags.  I've been using those small produce bags as my garbage bags and it's been brilliant.  We don't get the plastic shopping bags here which is what I long used as my garbage can liners, and I just feel ridiculous buying garbage bags.  So, I've been using the produce bags - I clip it onto the handle of the cabinet right by the sink, and it's been great.  It can take me well over a week to fill one, but if something stinky goes in I can take it right out to the curb without issue.  

The only issue is that I try to not use a lot of plastic, and that includes not using plastic produce bags for my produce when I can avoid it.  I do it sometimes and do have a stash, but the stash is depleting because I reuse them for giving things away and now for garbage, etc.  And with these nice produce bags I just got for sale, it'll reduce even more.  So I was wondering where my next bags would come from ... and then as I walked out of Trader Joe's, the answer came to me.  They have a bin by the door where they drop in the last of the produce bag rolls, offering them to people for pet waste pickup, etc.  Boom, there are my free garbage bags, and bags for sharing with people, yay.  I'm set.   

I do though sometimes still struggle with how to store produce in the fridge.  I got some hard plastic containers for produce, which is fine for smaller things.  But how to store a cabbage, for example?  Large zucchini?  A dozen pears?  Carrots?  I've been just tossing things into the produce bin without a bag but that's only good when I'm using fairly soon.  And yes that is the goal to use produce soon, but it's not always feasible. 

Anyway, it's time to start the day and hope I shake off some of this stiffness and fatigue.   

**

Now after 3 and I still have too much to do ... 

 Did walk the dog and picked pears and went to Costco and closed my account and added me to Friend's account.  One of the anarchist neighbors was out and I hadn't seen them in awhile and they did not look good - they've been very sick for weeks, sleeping like 21 hours a day, every effort too heavy.  Their dog was being very good - when it saw me up the ladder recognized me and didn't bark.  She's kind of a weird dog but I like her and I talk to her all the time when I hear her out.  I promised to make them soup and bring some other things (so I handed my latest lacto-fermented pickles over the fence, and I have posole cooking now, and I'll make a large choban salat, and take some dehydrated pears, maybe some tea).  

Then a new roommate came out whom I hadn't met before and asked Friend to borrow my pear picking gear.  I peeked over and said they have a ladder over there but i can lend my tall ladder.  I specifically didn't offer the picker because I don't know this person and I would be really sad if something happened to it - I like it a lot, and I drove 50 miles for it and paid $49.99, and I spent a lot of effort into deciding what I wanted and then getting it.  And it can be broken and ripped and I don't want that to happen.  I've impressed upon Friend to treat it well - and she usually doesn't abuse objects, and is respectful - and i keep it protected when not in use.  I passed the ladder over.  So then we left to Costco and the new neighbor texted and asked for the picker and I finally just said that I'm not comfortable sharing it. 

And that felt weird, to deny something to someone like that, but the whole exchange was weird - asking to borrow things from someone unknown and acting almost entitled to it.  And then too when Friend was picking pears, she dropped a whole large bucket over there and asked for the bucket to be handed back, and I was like, "Keep them all, even what's in the bucket still" and New Neighbor said, "No, thank you."  Wait, you don't want pears that we've already picked?  I'd pointed out how many pears on their side (from my trees) are totally within reach from just standing.  Most of the pears over there are easily reached from a ladder, no need for a picker - it's only on my side where the trees were planted and they're too high.  

Anyway, I'm setting boundaries. We'll move forward.   

insurance

 Yes, I'm just talking about mundane life details, but insurance is the one I choose now.  I stayed up far too late on Saturday night trying to use the Geico website for quotes and it was just wonky.  But I did see that it looked like the home coverage through Geico would actually be through Liberty Mutual, so I just went straight there to look around.  And I'm saving $500 this next year.  

When I got here, I got State Farm, but I also didn't like that - when I tried to get it on-line, I couldn't get my nearby agent, it forced me to get it through an agent further away.  I was underwhelmed with them and then the price jacked up significantly.  So I went to an insurance broker, and it was cheaper ... at first.  Then the prices started going up.

And I get that, I do.  But they were going to charge me like $490 for six months of auto insurance, and now I've got it down to like $285.  that's a tremendous difference.  House is less too.  And coverages are similar for both. I drive so little (less than 200 miles per month total for both vehicles) that I can't justify paying a lot.  Though I could improve my safe driving and keeping my phone totally locked away when driving. 

What had pushed me regarding new insurance was that I got a letter from the home insurer saying they were non-renewing.  I got that letter in early July, and i reached out a week or so later to ask what was up.  the broker said the insurer decided this state isn't profitable (though the letter made it seem like they just wouldn't be allowed to sell the product any more) and she'd meant to call me and she'd send other options.  I never heard from her.  So I'll just low-key go on-line and save some cash.  

The other thing I'm doing on-line is that I put my savings into a CD at my local credit union that will mature right when I'm eligible to retire.  At that time I'll maybe know how much longer it'll be until I can retire and roll it over again or use it to pay off house or maybe something else.  The CD rate isn't huge, but if the rates stay comparable, then I will earn about $1400 more in that time.  

So, I just saved/earned almost $2,000 by spending some time on line.  Painless and worth the time spent. Every bit pushes me closer to the finish line of paying off my house and retiring.   

And we're entering choban salat era - eating heavily from the garden.  (Choban salat is something I got very used to in Azerbaijan - tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, peppers, with lemon juice and olive oil.  Very tasty.)  

It's 9 pm and I'm exhausted and heading to bed soon.  I did get jalapeno peppers pickled - three reused jars that appear to have all sealed nicely.   I do not have the energy for pears, but I did pull out the most ripe into a big bowl in the fridge so I'll start there when I do that tomorrow.  

I had a productive day at work even though I didn't work 10 hours.  First, good things just materialized when I wished for them which was super wild.  And a thing got reassigned from someone weak to someone stellar and it's been amazing to see the difference and we have time to do it right.  She is very good at what she does, knowing things I had no idea she could, and I feel that I have a very strong team on that project.  She's wicked smart and working on an advance degree, good for her.  She did not come from a privileged background, she's worked really hard to be where she is and to make a good life for her kiddos, and she's on a really good track.  

And the other thing was one of the most successful meetings I ever had with my boss, in which I brought two concerns to the table - the manager of my support staff reassigning them to other people and projects without even informing me, making them overextended and not able to properly do the things I need done, and someone on a project who has horribly dropped the ball and keeps lying about it.  I looped in that person's supervisor repeatedly and she won't meet with me or respond to me directly, so my boss is going to their boss.  And I need to manage my expectations, but sometimes this does something.  To shine a light on egregious incompetence sometimes roots out the problems.  And this problem needs to be rooted out.   

**

So it's Wednesday, which is one of my best days because it's when I review the digital coupons from my nearest supermarket (sometimes there are great sales on things like cheese and milk, but nothing this week that I see) and also when I get 10% off bulk goods at my nearest grocery store (I need black beans, not sure how I ran out of that staple without replenishing). 

I wanted to roar into this day early and spend time processing pears and maybe be a bit late to work, but I am not up for that.  I do need to get out and do watering, though I'm sitting with my coffee right now.  I have a bit of a headache.  This dry hot weather is hard on the dog (who is scratching a ton) and me - it's so dusty, and something in that dust makes me and the dog sick every year for weeks.  There's a wee bit of cloud cover right now which is nice so I really should go out soon.  

I want to orient myself well today and then power into work for job and then maybe check off a bit early to be able to process pears, and some other such things.  It's just that there are about 12 boxes of pears waiting for me and they are all going to ripen very soon so I need to stay on top of things.  

**

 And now it's Thursday.  I did process pears last night, dozens of them, and set them to simmer to make pear sauce.  It takes so long to get them to cook down, so I finally gave up and put the pot in the fridge and am reheating now.  I would like to get them cooked, then mill and can them.  It shouldn't take long now and I can be a bit late to start my workday today.  I'll probably end up only making like four small jars from all that.  There are just a lot of things to cut out - the bruises, the worm frass, etc.  They are not perfect pears like to sell.  But they are tasty when cutting around those things, perfect for eating and canning and drying - and saucing, hopefully. 

For work i plan today to take out the company vehicle and drive half an hour to another town to meet with people.  They do good work and I've never been to their office, though every year they bring us the most wonderful basket of Christmas goodies.  I want to show up in their space to show some respect.  And also, my favorite bakery is nearby, so I will definitely stop there.  I think I'll treat myself to a lunch and a dessert.  Their bread is very tasty but I like mine better (no sugar, more whole grains, etc.).  Everything there is super tasty so I have to be strategic and make choices of just one lunch item and one dessert, to not feel like I missed out.  I'm very excited about this little trip.  Usually I cannot make time for such things within my workday - I'm usually very overwhelmed constantly - but I have a wee bit of a lull right now.  There are many things I should be working on, but nothing screaming EMERGENCY, so I'm leaning into a wee bit of leisure.

I did promise my support staff that I'll bring them garden goodness tomorrow and they were excited, so I need to deliver big.  Zucchini, cucumbers, tomatoes, plums, etc.  I want to take a box full.  They are not perfect but I do appreciate them.  

Oh, my very exciting news is that one of the heirloom cucumber seeds I am growing out for seed saving and sharing finally produced and it was quite tasty.  I had problems the first two years here with bitter cucumbers, so I was excited with a hybrid I grew last year.  I'll still grow that probably, but if i could find a open-pollinated i liked as much, that would be even better.  

ingredients + plums

This is most an ingredients household rather than prepared food, though there are exceptions.  Yesterday I had a sweet potato-white bean-chipotle burrito for lunch.  And then another for dinner.  Because I did not feel up to cooking.  I also had crackers that I'd bought at Trader JOe's as a special snack, and that is good with cheese.  

But now I'm on to cooking for the week, or at least the planning of it.  I'd gone to TJ to get ingredients for lasagna as it's a good place to get pretty good ingredients for pretty good prices, but still it was expensive - $26 for cheese and such.  I did just pull zucchini to use for it so that saved me money and they look good.  It'll also have spinach so it's a pretty healthy vegetable dish despite the cheese.  And I'll use cottage cheese instead of ricotta because I prefer its texture sometimes.  

Other things to cook this weekend: kale white bean soup, as I bought sausage for it and that needs to get used up soon.  And then something with tofu and green beans and zucchini (I don't have enough green beans alone).  I also want to make a big batch of sweet potato burritos since I ate up the last and I have sweet potatoes (which is unusual for me, and I need to use them up).  I just need to get tortillas for that.  

All that cheese and such put me over budget for spending for the month but not egregiously so.  I was going to spend excessively for some lion's mane creamer that I saw on sale, but then I looked at the actual package and saw that even though the serving size that made it seem healthy enough was 3/4 tsp, they were actually giving instructions of using at least a tablespoon.  That would be like almost all my saturated fat allowance for the day, no thank you.  Anyway, I'm fine with warm milk in my coffee.  No need to be fancy.  

I need to get out and pick some pears before it gets even warmer, but I'm dragging. Friend is at work today but she plans to help me with that tomorrow, but I should get a headstart in case I feel even worse tomorrow. 

Then I might actually go out to do some errands, we'll see.  

I'm rethinking my pear plans, considering pear sauce instead of making pear juice to can pears in.  I could use the pear sauce like I do applesauce, for baking, to replace sweetness and fat.  

And I really need to remember that I don't want to grow tomatoes.  I'm so unpleasantly allergic to the plants and I don't really enjoy eating them much.  I could just buy them at hte farmers market if I want fresh (rarely) or buy canned tomatoes.  They grow well here, even though I'm not watering them, but itchy.  

Went out and grabbed some sweet green plums; they're so good.  Shared most, only keeping what i can eat soon.  We'll pick more tomorrow.  I'll probably cut down some branches that are heavily laden, for ease in harvesting and because they're going to get hacked back by the electrical company contractors soon, and that's better a two-person job.   I took some pints over to the community refrigerator, which was stocked well.  There are some good distributions going on there now, though it never stays stocked for long.  A man was there rummaging through the little free pantry and I offered him some plums and cucumbers.  "Hell yeah!  I mean ... heck yeah."  

I signed up for a new bank account that comes with a bonus because I realized the amount I'd make from doing that (and having my direct deposit salary go there for several months) is more than I would make from working the day after Thanksgiving.  I've volunteered for that the past three years, and this year I want to enjoy the four-day weekend.  The first year I did it, it was great, I just sat in the office for four hours and got my work done, but then they changed the rules and i have to justify the work I'm doing and I have to do other people's work and be on call but only paid for two hours and it just all got weird.  So, fuck it.  I'll get my banking bonus instead.  I also cashed out a week of vacation pay, which we can do each year.  I kept running the numbers on it and didn't actually mean to submit it, I was just checking out the system.  but it's ok. My boss has to approve it, and she'll probably try to give me grief and I will tell her to fuck off because taking a vacation in this job is shit - the work just piles up and I have to work such long hours before and after.  I'm covering for a colleague going on vacation and she put hours into preparing the work for the day, and if she hadn't then I would have to and that's not fair.  That's why I always volunteer to help her, unlike some of my other colleagues who don't do the prep.  We have a colleague who has been out on FMLA more than working, and it's really a burden on us.  I wish her the best and good health, but I still get to be frustrated at how much extra work I have to be doing.  The thing about cashing out vacation time is that I can't travel now because of the dog, and while sometimes it's nice to take days off just to be in home, there are also occasional slower times and I can just work partial days then and that's just about as restorative for me.  

Though to be honest, I'm just constantly short-tempered.  My boss asked for me to cover a big project for the person out on leave and did all this justification - first, that I have special skills with an aspect of it (I don't know that she's ever complimented me before - and it was probably just bullshit), and also that she's trying to be fair and that she did assign one project to the person who has worked there a year and never done one.  OK, whatever.  I don't really have a choice.  She also laid it out almost like a threat, because she mentioned getting coverage for another project on a date on which I've been scheduled for months to be out.  I'm taking a week off for my birthday because I'm tired of really shitty work things happening on my birthday.  Maybe I'll do a little trip, but probably not, because dog.  

Yum, those plums are good.  I'm going to resist the urge to dehydrate them because even though they're tasty that way, I rarely eat them and there are still containers in the freezer.   I'll just harvest all I can fresh and share what I can't eat.  It's a banger year for plums in town, I've seen plenty of people putting them out to share.  My trees are recovering still from a bad aphid infestation last year.

**

Oof, I was up much too late last night trying to figure out new auto and home insurance.  When I first got here I got State Farm and then they jacked their prices up so much that I went shopping with a broker.  But I got a letter last month that the homeowners wouldn't be renewed (she said the company is leaving the market), and the auto increases are higher than I think they should be just for passage of time.  I gave it a couple of weeks and then emailed the insurance broker, and she said she'd get back to me within the week.  That was a month ago.  So I went to the Geico website last night and it's been a weird loop without sufficient info and it's been tough to make any edits to the request and it won't let me "bundle", and I input my email address multiple times but no promised information emailed.  Just really weird.  Maybe because it was Saturday night, but there's still nothing in my email this morning. 

Anyway, now I'm tired and have a lot to do.  The dog has been hassling me since too early to get up and walk her, which violates the terms of our agreement so that is annoying (she is not supposed to hassle me for walks).  I do feel a little better, thankfully, so hopefully can power through the cleaning/laundry/basic chores, and cooking.  Plus Friend is coming over to help harvest pears and plums.  And I need to water the garden.  All the things.  

But first, I shall enjoy this nice cup of coffee while I do other administrative tasks such as request the repair kit for the recalled attic ladder I had installed a couple of years ago.  I'm glad it's just repair of bolts and such, hopefully something I can do myself and won't have to hire someone to do like I did the install.  

Scale says I'm down 1.4 pounds, but when I reweighed it kept coming up with different (higher) numbers, so I'll just take the first number.  I keep bouncing down to this number then back up.  I'd aspirationally like to keep losing, but at this point I'd like to just maintain.  

**

Oowee I'm whupped.  We just picked what I'm going to guess based on how many flats and how full - about 150 pounds of pears.  And there's still more on the tree but I couldn't keep going even though I wasn't the one on the ladder for most of the time.  Processing is going to be so much work, though I think if I just cut out any spots and cut in half to ensure no issues, that I could cook them, food mill them, and make pearsauce and/or juice for canning, and then the pears that are in the best shape can be canned up 4-5 jars at a time (what my canner will fit, and also my energy and focus).  The pears will need to be checked each day but if I don't have time that day I can put the ripe ones in the fridge.  Hopefully I can also be disciplined about going to bed early and getting up early to do chores and/or start work early so that I can actually end right at 5 pm.   

**

Well, the lasagna was a lot of work and pretty disappointing.  It's very soupy so I'm spooning off liquid, too cheesy, and not really that flavorful.  The zucchini was fine, the best part of it really.  But if making again I'd do it very differently (half the mozzarella, more seasoning in the sauce).  Unfortunately Friend from Grad School can't eat mushrooms so I couldn't share with her.  Think I'll freeze most of it.  

Also got a low-sugar sweet potato pie cooked.  The sweet potatoes look very peaked and I needed to use up a lot of them.  Just have a few more to get through now.  The pie also freezes well.  And once I'm done watering the front yard, I'll roll up the sweet potato burritos and freeze them, and feel quite accomplished for the weekend, which is something because I'm so tired it's painful.   

bad weather, foul mood

 The heat and poor air quality of the past week is really taking its toll on me.  My mood is the most foul, spinning negatively, closely tied to how physically awful I feel.  I was ok so long as I stayed home with  my air purifiers, but once I had to starting leaving for work, things fell apart.  So much pain.  

The official monitor says the air quality is better now, though I'm skeptical as I can still see the haze.   

So i think this will be a pretty chill weekend.  I do have some outdoor chores to do in the garden, and food prep tasks, but I think mostly I'll read books.  I have several out from the library.  Last time I was there, I picked up The Heat Will Kill You First, non-fiction about climate change, and it's so depressing that I may just return it.  Though I'm already in such a very bad mood that I may just keep going to get even worse.  There was a chapter about a California family who died of hyperthermia when out for a hike and it's giving me hardcore flashbacks to a summer day in Death Valley.  I was driving across the country, as I've now done so many times, and stopped a few spots around there.  I got to the hottest part of it midday and decided to go for a walk.  It was well over 100 and there was no shade.  I've always been prone to heat exhaustion type things - a friend's Chinese mother says it's because I have too much hot energy that I don't address; I would also say that I grew up in a very northern climate where we didn't spend much time above 70 degrees.  But this was different.  I'm pretty sure my previous dog was with me and that's what saved my life - she was an incredibly smart well-behaved herding dog who often gently nudged people to safety.  Though I can't really imagine that I had her out in the heat like that - though, maybe I did.  I once caused the pads on her paws to be burned because I didn't understand the impact of hot asphalt.  I feel so stupid to say that but ... yeah (though to be fair, she didn't give me any indication it caused her pain, and as soon as I noticed any kind of limp I took her to the vet - so I definitely wasn't intentionally neglectful, just really stupid).  So I was out walking in this brutal heat that was reflecting off the salt pan, and I got like almost euphoric and started taking off my clothes and wandering off where I intended to go, decided I didn't need water anymore, and various other breakdowns of brain functioning.  Now, I don't think I would have died because I wasn't super remote and I'm pretty sure somebody would have come upon me and realized how incredibly stupid I was and called for emergency services.  Though I'm not sure how quickly hyperthermia kills - maybe I wouldn't have had a window for rescue.  Anyway, if I remember correctly, my dog herded me back to the car and we cooled off.  But maybe it was just her spirit keeping me safe because I can't actually recall her there.  She kept me safe so many times, from bear and moose and porcupines (almost walked straight into one in a tree that she barked me away from), etc. etc.  She was such a good dog, I never had to worry about her behaving appropriately.  

ANYWAY.  I have hundreds of stories about how stupid I am and how it's ridiculous that I'm still alive, but that one for sure stays with me as recognizing how quickly I became delusional is striking.  

And climate change is scary AF.  When I lived in this town 35 years ago, nobody ever needed air conditioning.  Now?  It was the first thing I did when I bought this house and I'm so glad I did.  Tbh I could survive most of the summer without it because I can open up my house to cool off at night, and I have heavy curtains to keep heat out, etc.  But when the smoke comes and I'm not opening my house up no matter what, it's a different tale and I'm soooo glad for the AC.  Which is blowing on me right now.  

With this current political climate, we're all just trying to survive.  I am horrified at how many people are being charged with "conspiracy" now for various non-conspiratorial acts, which are legitimate and legal acts of civil disobedience.  And i know that I need to join in, but I'm actually afraid of all that I have to lose, and that is horrifying that I'm unwilling to put my life on the line to fight against authoritarianism because I don't want to be tear gased, beaten, shot, held in jail and unable to care for my dog, lose my job and home and retirement savings.  I can't even handle wildfire smoke and unhealthy food without falling apart, how can I handle any of what is being done to protestors?  And that fucking sucks when I'm that honest with myself.  

The one good thing is that I now see the trend of having to push back.  Don't accept a plea, go to trial, appeal, sue civilly, fight every fight.  We still have shreds of democracy left and that pushback is working.  

and I should know this already.  20 plus years ago I went to an island nation that was not legal for me to go to, and I was reported, and got a very scary letter from the federal government about all the punishments coming my way if I didn't just confess.  So I hired an expensive lawyer in DC who said he could get it pled down in a way that didn't destroy my future, and I was literally on my way to mail a letter that did exactly that, when I got a call from a legal organization person that I'd emailed earlier.  I pulled into the gas station parking lot next to where I'd planned to mail the letter and took the call, and the guy was like NO, THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA, AT ALL.  He advised me to continue to be disobedient, which is all I needed to hear.

People throughout my life have described me as disobedient, but the truth is that I'm pretty much a rule-follower.  I pay taxes, I try to follow the speed limit (especially if there are any safety concerns), I don't commit violent acts on anyone though sometimes I may fantasize about it.  I work within the system because it pretty much works for me as someone with a lot of privilege (white, educated).  

But I do also get pretty riled up when my constitutional rights are violated, and I took the advice of the legal organization, and I wrote back to the letter threatening to prosecute me citing which articles of the Constitution were being violated and how I would fight them.  Another big factor in me going this direction was I was not going to rat out my travel companion who had more to lose than me - and he has now a wonderful life, more than he ever imagined before we became friends and I nudged him to do all the things he dreamed of - and I simply would go to prison before reporting him, which the government was requiring I do.  

The truth is, I'm small potatoes, and adding any friction to this prosecution made it not worth their while, and I got a scolding letter back about "don't do it again" but that they were dropping their investigation into me.  I wonder if I still have that letter.  

And this friction theory still holds true, especially when people with privilege are yielding the monkey wrenches.  

Someday we will be too far gone and the friction won't be enough.  We're not there yet and we need to gum up the tyrannical works every chance we get. 

But most of us are too unwilling to give up our comfort.  I'm in that number.  Yes, I show up at protests with a sign, but then that kills a whole weekend because of the physical pain I'm in from having done that.  Last time I physically blocked a car trying to drive through a group of protestors by positioning myself directly in front of it and staring down the driver while yelling at them to stop, they do not have the right of way.  I'd like to think that fear doesn't always guide me, but the older and more fragile I become, the more it does.  I do think though that there will be a tipping point when I truly don't give a fuck anymore and will be cannon fodder for a principle.  That's not today, though. 

 

tasty berries

 Today on my lunch hour I made jam.  Everything had pretty much already been prepped - raspberries frozen and thawed, blackberries already milled and more picked and cleaned and milled earlier this  morning.  I use Pomona Pectin because it gives me a lot of discretion about sugar.  

It turned out SO. GOOD.  I did about 75% blackberries and 25% raspberries.  Most had been frozen but I did pick another cup or so this morning of blackberries fresh to top it off.  I used a fruit:sugar ratio of 5.5:1 which is not low-sugar but it's much lower sugar than usual recipes.  I'll be excited to see how the seediness is or isn't - I don't mind some seeds especially raspberry, but these blackberries are filled with big, hard seeds that aren't fun.  The mill didn't remove all the seeds but it reduced it, and then I didn't mill the raspberries at all.  

I got just a bit of overflow that I then promptly ate on toast, and then rest was four pints.  I'll make another batch on Wednesday, when I venture out to get some organic sugar on sale.  I have another gallon and a pint of blackberries to heat and mill and another small bag of raspberries to add.  So looking forward to it.  Definitely seems like the best jam I've made in a while.  It's hard when it's low-sugar - things change.  Fruit floats.  It doesn't last as long.  It's of course much less sweet.  

And now for dinner I'm cooking savory zucchini pancakes.  I didn't get green onions but I used a shallot I had on hand and I think it is good, and plenty of basil and oregano.  I need to figure out a topping I like - I'm currently using sriracha and it's not quite right.  I used to put on sour cream and sriracha, like I do with okonomiyaki (cabbage pancakes), but the zucchini pancakes have cheese in them so I don't also need sour cream.  I should probably run nutritional analysis on them because they feel pretty healthy except for the cheese.  Mostly zucchini and eggs.  This can definitely go into the rotation, especially with fresh zucchini (I like how it has an almost firm texture).  

**

tonight I made zucchini with a poblano pepper, potatoes, and ground turkey, and ate it with sauerkraut.  Turned out pretty good. For breakfast I'd had the zucchini pancakes, and for lunch the last of the tofu with green beans & snap peas.  Not a bad dining day.  

And now, it's Tuesday evening and the air quality is still so bad that I'm huddled up with air purifiers and not going outside unless absolutely mandatory and then in a mask.  I'm slowly heating blackberries from the freezer and what I'd just picked (and didn't eat - I did gobble up a bunch) and I'll mill them so they're ready to make jam tomorrow when I pick up sugar.  I also have a dozen and a half peppers drying, and I'll chop them up and freeze them.  I'll be very glad to have them all come winter.   

**

Looking at a grocery store flyer where I shop from time to time.  Pears are $2.49/pound.  I have probably hundreds of pounds in my tree waiting to be harvested and eaten and processed (canned and dehydrated).  Organic tomatoes are $3.99/pound - I have about 8 pounds waiting and more ripening every day.  Cucumbers $2.99/pound - I've already got probably five pounds in my fridge and I'll be getting more every day.  Friend just said she'd like to try them fermented so I'll make jars for her as well.  

Well, next jar.  Friend from Grad School came over for pickles - her kids love them.  I did tell her that they're fermented but she just really didn't understand.  I gave up and said to just warn her kids they are different or they'll be upset they're not the vinegary-sugary kind they love.  They're so healthy though.  So then I started another jar.  I also gave her all my zucchini so I need to let some grow; this weekend I want to make zucchini lasagna.  I'm still eating zucchini multiple times a day - this morning was zucchini pancakes, then zucchini with rice and beans (which I actually threw away), and then for dinner leftover potatoes and zucchini and ground turkey.  And had the leftover cucumbers after I made another quart of pickles.  For some reason I'm just not enjoying them as much as I did last year, but hopefully that changes.  They just seem kind of dry.  But at least they're not bitter.  

I peeled and chopped a bunch of pears then tossed the 1/4 full gallon ziploc in the freezer.  I'll keep adding, then when full make juice probably to use for canning.  

The air quality has been so bad, in the unhealthy range.  I wandered out today to the library and store, for the first time in days, and I was astounded that nobody else was masked up.  It's really bad, this smoke.  I mask up to go outside and limit it as much as possible, but there's also a heat advisory so I for sure have to go out and water.  

Had a weird thing the other day.  I was thinking about just holding off on watering the front yard, and then I couldn't get a tree out of my head.  I planted a madrone because I think they're the coolest with that reddish hue - I always have to touch them when I see them, that smoothness is really neat.  They can be fussy to establish, so I gathered soil from underneath a madrone where I walk the dog each week and added that, and I've been careful not to water it much.  But the problem is that i planted it in like February so it didnt' establish well before dry season.  I dont' want to rot it though.  So I was going to hold off but it's like this tree was telepathic, telling me that it needed water.  So I did obediently go out and water the tree and some other things even though they weren't talking to me but I could see other signs.  Look, I've definitely had conversations with trees but always when I'm right with them, usually touching them.  But this was for sure a first, for this madrone to beckon me outside to tend to it.  Wild.  

 

Here's a picture of one. See what I mean, how cool they are?  

I was an idiot and planted it too close to an oak tree, but honestly I think they will be ok, they'll grow into each other, like in the forest.   

I want some professional help with my yard this winter, it just needs some oomph.  

 

 

yay for Saturday

It's not yet 7:30 am and the dog is very eager for me to go outside with her to toss a toy.  She loves chasing things.  I'm still drinking coffee, having just organized the kitchen and put away laundry I'd dried yesterday.

Weird thing with the laundry - I followed the instructions on the tag for the couch pillows I'd gotten at Ikea, and it nearly broke my washing machine.  I put them in with the bedding setting, but it ran for hours and finally I overrode it and took them out.  They're down and the exterior isn't really water permeable.  So weird they said it was machine washable.  So I put them outside to hang dry yesterday when it was hot and the feathers were still so waterlogged.  Just weird and very stinky.  Maybe they'd be ok in an old style washer but it tripped out my fancy washer.  Hopefully no permanent damage done.  I left them outside overnight (on racks in the patio).  I'll probably need to run them in the dryer.  Anyway, just weird to me that the care instructions could be so wrong.

Last night I picked more cucumbers and got my first quart of pickles fermenting.  I saw lots of little cucs so I should have plenty to eat for salads soon, I just really wanted some fermented pickles.  Picked more zucchini, of course.  Made blackberry muffins that are ok.  I"m just about out of leftovers so need to plan the next meals.  Probably zucchini black beans and rice to start.  

Once I get the dog's ya-yas out sufficiently I want to do some exterior house cleaning in the front yard while I'm watering some things.  I'd really like to finish this project.  It's just exhausting to me to go up and down the ladder and scrub and all that, so I have to break it into chunks and I have to be motivated.   A shoe store has a sale that I want to check out, and I have a library book to pick up.  I'm going to take Friend to the recycling place and the dump - she has an old swing that is mildewy and bothers me every time I see it.  She thinks the recycling place will take it and maybe they will, and I have some old lights to drop off there.  But I'm also prepared to go to the dump with it.  

I cleaned out my bathroom sink drain last night - it has been gurgling and I'm concerned about the vent, but maybe it's just a wee clog so I'll start with the easy thing first.   

One thing I need to better figure out is how to clean my windows.  I mean really really clean them.  I keep thinking they're clean and then the light comes in - it's quite harsh - and I see every little spot amplified.   I'm going to make myself crazy with this but I'm sure it can be better without going overboard.   

I probably need to check the jalapeno bush again and see how urgently I need to harvest.  I have peppers in my fridge to deal with soon - probably need to freeze some.  But I could also pickle jalapenos this weekend.  I may have things in the fridge I've forgotten about, need to go through it thoroughly.  

Well, the dog is getting more demanding that we need to go outside and she's not entirely wrong.  

**

Oof, finished washing down the gutters on the front of the house, yay.  Still need to scrub down the siding and windows, and I still have sections in the back, but I think I'm halfway done now.  The longer I go, the easier it gets.  I'm stinky but just taking a break before scrubbing bathroom and showering.  

I've been wearing the same shirt almost every summer day since last summer.  I went on a roadtrip last year a few hours away and went to a cool national monument and enjoyed it a lot, and I picked up a tshirt there.  Every time I look at the shirt I'm reminded of the cool trip and that I need to do more trips like that.  I'll wear the damn shirt out and that's ok too.  

Have some rice cooking to add to a pot of beans and zucchini and peppers and a tomato and whatever else I find in my fridge.  It's not something I like to eat a ton, but if I make enough for two or three meals I'm good.  So I'm just cooking 1/2 cup of rice.  I probably also want to start shredding and freezing zucchini to use throughout the year.  I expect I'll get to more good months of heavy zucchini, but you never know.  Pest or disease challenges could arise and knock them out, stranger things have happened.  Oh but my freezer is full, I just learned when putting more blackberries in.  Maybe I'll be up for making blackberry jam soon.  

It's mostly cloudy out there which is great for everything except laundry but that's ok.  I'm drying the pillows in the dryer and it smells so bad because they're feathers.  And they still won't get totally dry so I'll keep hanging them as well.   

**

Oy vey, I'm schvitzing from labor and humidity.  I'm very pleased with myself: I finally caulked my windows and did pretty good and built and installed a window screen and it's ok.  I'll need to trim up the screen with a razor blade, and it seems the springs are pushing in the screen perhaps so there's a little gap around the edge, but it's better than the one I broke.  HOpefully I don't break any more when I finish the last window screen cleaning (I have five more or so) - I better understand how they fit in than before, so I can finesse it better. 

So now I need to change clothes and head out shortly for the errands, and then I intend to come home and collapse with exhaustion.  

Spending more time than usual in the front of my house makes me realize that I will never be able to stay on top of the spider webs and it will always look like an old abandoned property in some ways.  I have SO MANY spiders inside and outside my house, and we live in peace and harmony.  I just don't like so many webs.  

 **

When I was at the library, I picked up the book I'd requested and waited for, and then I noticed there were some shelves of popular books that I scanned.  An older woman was doing the same, and as we turned the corners, I said to her, "Are you looking for something good?  This [The True True Story of Raja the Gullible] is incredible, so so good.  Highly recommend."  She thanked me and picked it up to look at it.  It's even more poignant now with Lebanon under attack.  

**

Scale says I'm back up the 1.4 pounds that it said I lost last week.  No surprise as I ate too much bread and potato chips.  

Something I eat a lot of that surprises me is oats.  I guess i shouldn't be surprised, but it seems like I'm always having to buy more - at least a quart a month.  I don't eat oatmeal for breakfast as it spikes my blood sugar (I discovered this decades ago, that I'm always hungry after eating it), though I've been known to eat it for dinner from time to time (with apples and cinnamon).  But I'm much more likely to bake with it.  Making zucchini muffins now with it.  I can grind it up to make oat flour which can work in a lot of things.  

I think I'm going to go back to buying my flour in large bags at the mill.  I've been getting it in bulk, the same flour for about the same price.  But it is in a bin at floor level which is awkward to feel and also doesn't feel super sanitary.  I like the bulk bins that customers don't dig into, just pull the level and it opens up to pour.  I've seen the scoops for bottom goods land on the floor - I always grab them and take them to the cashier, and they're nice about it, but ... not encouraging for sanitariness.  And they're also not sealed bins like the containers I have at home.  

I wonder if the use of oats instead of wheat flour is why my baked goods don't rise.  I also don't use sugar, cut the fat, and use whole wheat flour instead of all purpose.  Yes, they are still tasty - for these, the zucchini makes them moist, and the oats give a nice texture (for me, not everyone would like it), and the dates sweeten it enough.  

I've turned to free TV through my library and have started Trom (and Nordic mystery, one of my favorite genres) but about every three minutes I get up and go do another task.  Dishes are washed, tofu is pressing.  I'll bake that and saute the garden green beans and peas to go with it.  I'm making another batch of date paste so that I have it on hand.  I use deglet noor dates which aren't nearly as sweet as medjool and they're also drier usually.  I may get some medjool again.  Last time I got them, I ate too many so told my self no more.  I'm also making zucchini pancake batter - even though I probably won't cook them until tomorrow, it's nice to have things totally prepped.  They're savory not sweet, mostly zucchini held together with some eggs and a bit of flour, and some nice flavors (herbs, cheese).  If I'm really feeling industrious, I'll cook a bag of blackberries and then put them through the food mill to have the juice and pulp prepped for seedless jam.  I may also roast some anaheims to can or freeze.  I picked quite a few recently.  I shared with Friend but still have quite a bit.  I'd like to see how it goes to process them - are they like the little roasted chilis in the store?  I like those, use them a lot.

We tried picking pears today but they were reluctant so maybe they need more time.  Then I will be drowning in pears, so it's best to take care of other things before that.  I still haven't quite learned how to know when pears are ready - I've already handled probably 100 that had fallen already - some clearly eaten by animals, others not great and maybe just windfall, but others seem good and ready - but by the time I pick them up, they've been bruised and battered and not so good anymore (though the ants love them).  Grapes have also started to fall even though they mostly aren't ripe quite yet - i keep catching the dog eating them.  They're toxic but she won't listen and there's no way to stop her.  She's such a cute little farm dog.  When we went for our walk today, an off-leash dog came running towards us, no person around.  I roared, "NOOOO!  GET YOUR DOG!  LEASH YOUR DOG!"  The acoustics were just right and I scared the bejeezus out of the dog, sounding like a thundering god, and it scurried away.  My dog's tantrum was pretty mild after I let the rage roar.  Unfortunately, I have been holding my dog's leash when a dog has rushed us and she has quick reflexes.  One particularly horrifying moment was a little white dog that just would not leave us and my dog snatched it up and shook it like a toy.  Finally that person reached us and together we pried open my dog's jaws to get the white dog out.  It was so horrible.  Unleashed out of control dogs aren't ok but the consequence shouldn't be death.  So yeah, I have a lot of feelings about unleashed dogs rushing us.  I'm certain that this dog today was friendly, but my dog is a loose cannon.  She wants to be friendly but she doesn't know how.  

this is the most productive weekend I've had in ages, it's been fabulous.  The temperature being below 80 probably helps.  It will be nice when chores are more manageable and I'm open to more leisure.  I definitely enjoy all the food preparation and canning and such, and I very much like the result of the work, but I also feel a little trapped by it all.  I always feel this way in summer here - we push through the nice weather, and the gardening season is short.  By August I start looking forward to winter again, for some sitting still time.  I have a feeling it will be a cold winter and I am very ready with the firewood.  The dog hates fire heat but she'll survive.