not a bad day

 Today was warm and the sun was harsh, and I had no patience when I had to return to the hardware store to get the correct handles because the men hadn't checked that they actually lined up with the wheelbarrow bucket.

Here's the thing: mistakes happen.  I get it.  I can be a patient person.  But this waste of my time didn't have to happen IF THEY HAD JUST CHECKED LIKE I SAID.

But then things just kept getting better.  I got several plants in including the two I'd not been looking forward to - the red twig dogwood because the pot is fucking huge and heavy, and the gooseberry because it's a large heavy pot and prickly.  But they're in the ground!  Finally!  Some guy gave them to me last winter and they've just been waiting.  And now they're in, along with rhubarb.  Things are moving into place.  Then I put in elderberries, and several other natives near my back door that need a bit of water.  My front yard has to be all drought tolerant because I"m not watering there, but I will remember things in my backyard, certainly right where I see where I go every day. 

And I got pawpaws and ate my first one!  Some lady was selling them and it's so tasty.  Then she also gave me some gaura starts and a heap of knowledge.  

Then Friend came over and then we went out to eat Ethiopian and the owners were late to open but then so nice and the food was tasty and filling. Then like a block from my house is a plant sale with an honor system payment which is cute.  Some nice plants though I don't know that there were actual natives.  I might still take the mugwort which I just love the smell of.  Oh, actually no I won't - it isn't artemesia ludoviciana, it's the European one.

****

Scale says I lost almost three pounds this week.  That seems a lot, but I have been sticking pretty well to reducing refined sugar and refined grains, avoid industrial seed oil rules.  Regarding the sugar, sometimes it's a shift - like I made cocoa last night with a heap of cocoa and 1 teaspoon of maple syrup and that was more than enough sweet.  That's five grams of added sugar, which is better than the sugar I used to add.  Because I'm not diabetic I don't need to be rigid, I'm just trying to drastically reduce with the hope of someday not ever craving it.  Another shift was finding a recipe for whole grain blueberry muffins sweetened only by dates - they're quite tasty and I do sometimes eat them with jam, but I don't have to.  And I've been pretty active this week with shoveling mulch and the like.  And I got back to eating more vegetables again.  So, a pretty solid week with weight loss to show.  That makes my "goal" (which is very open to shifting) of 37 more pounds to lose.  If I can stick with this and continue to make adjustments. 

Heaps of work to do today including hanging ladders, housecleaning, putting in plants, moving mulch.  I want to clean some hoses and holders that I got for free but I may not get that done soon as I have too many other priorities like planting garlic.  

I was thinking of calling in sick tomorrow but I think I'll just try to take long lunchbreaks and end early.  I do desperately need a vacation but there's too much work to do. 

movements

 I've been putting more plants in the ground, even those pawpaws that I've been trying to just keep alive all summer, and the really big news is that I got about 20 cubic yards of oak wood chips to disperse.  I saved hundreds of dollars because of the timing of this arborist dropping and not having to purchase them, so I am thrilled.  I'm trying to be systematic as my yards are currently a hodgepodge of five different types of mulch, and I'd like one kind of top layer at least in the front yard.  

I'm excited for the things I'm putting in - a mock orange and red flowering currant right by my back door.  A red twig dogwood and gooseberry in the side yard - plants in huge pots that I've had nearly a year waiting to find the right place.  Elderberry will go in tomorrow as I finally found a spot, I think.  Osoberry will go out by the native oaks.  HOlding on for my large order for curb strip and other spots to be able to visualize before digging.  I'm going to be fucking overwhelmed with that order - it's like 90 plants - so I need to be in the right headspace and know what I'm doing. 

Tomorrow I want to get garlic into the ground, and some more nice native ornamentals in the little area planted last winter.  And haul a shit-ton of mulch.

Other movements too.  I finally got a remedy to my ductless system, that I had to pitch a fit about but I prevailed.  I finally called the contractor my coworkers use and he's going to give me an estimate to really redo the bathroom.  He strongly urges me to consider a pocket door it and I know he's right.  I'll be so happy with a pocket door on the bathroom.  Now it opens so strangely.  The cost range he gave me as rough seemed very reasonable.  I will provide my own fixtures, and I may spring for the fancy bidet toilet.  Why the fuck not?  Do I not deserve warm air drying my ass?  

And he got me thinking more about my counters, and I'm going to go look at other suppliers of quartz countertops (or something like that).  I look forward to seeing his backsplash quote.  

I found a basic woodworker on line who has great plans, and I'm hoping I have bandwidth this winter to make nightstands and backyard furniture on top of the wood shed and compost bins.

this is fall

 Finally I pickled the jalapenos and canned the salsa.  It is quite tasty though I could have cut the jalapenos back.  Look like all the jars pinged which is a satisfying feeling.  

Summer should be moving on and it will be soon.  The plant nursery owner and I shared our sense of when first frost will be.  I think October 15, she thinks sooner.

My tomato plants are still covered in green tomatoes.  It's warmer again this week so they're ripening up again.  When frost comes I"ll see about picking all the green tomatoes and storing them to see if they ripen.  The bean plants are scarcer now; I gathered enough for a meal but I want enough for two for leftovers, so I'll check again tomorrow.  The squash are still flowering like crazy with heaps of pollinators; I'll see how it goes with them.  I've only harvested two winter squash (a kuri and a buttercup) and I would like more.

What will I do differently next year?  Probably fewer tomatoes; no cherry tomatoes and almost all paste type.  More peppers.  

Things will be moving around; with the fence up in the side yard it's time to move past the guerrilla gardening I did this year.  I'll put in beds for berries and then work around where else the sun is.  

Soon the rains will come and I"ll forget what these warm sunny days are like.  But they'll be back in about nine months.

one more pound

 The scale says I lost one more pound over this past week.   That's after no loss the week before.  

This is certainly that slow, "healthy" weight loss I've heard so much about.  I guess.  

Goal for this week: more vegetables.  I bought zucchini and chard and garlic and onions direct from growers yesterday and I have my usual dishes with those.  I still have cabbage that I harvested weeks ago in my fridge waiting to get used.  I just grabbed some more green beans and need to scour those plants for more, enough for a serving or two is there I'm sure.  

It's fall now and things are slowing down, though we do have some warmer days this week so I'm not pulling things quite yet.  

A couple of winter squash are currently curing, and there shall be more.  

So plan for the week: continue with very limited refined sugar, reduce refined grains and industrial see oils.  More vegetables.  More water.  

clothesline

 Yesterday as I was hanging my laundry on the line, I started to make lists of pros and cons for future.

I don't want to stay in this house forever, even while it provides me with great luxury and satisfaction.  It is definitely a house to have while I have this dog.  We so enjoy our backyard, and little makes this dog happier than when we go outside to do chores together.  She is such a working dog and that makes her feel a sense of all right.  Yesterday I emptied out a raised bed and put the soil into a row for raspberries, to which I"ll add compost and fertilizer.  All the treks back and forth, she walks right beside me, she surveys for danger, she observes each shovel scoop. She is the supervisor and I am her minion.  This yard is for her.

So I think ahead to where do I want to live in ten years or so, as I'm approaching my late 60s.  Dear Friend's mom lives in a retirement community near her, and her only regret is that she didn't sell her massive isolated house and move in years earlier.  In so many ways, that is a great place to be for me, or some place like that.  Politically, too - because this three bedroom two bath house is not housing a family, as it should be.  In a time of such housing shortage, it is selfish to keep this property to myself and off the market.  (I did purchase it fairly, of course, and it needed/needs upgrades to make it more likely that a family would want to live here, which consumes me.)

But then I started thinking of friends I visited in a retirement community last year, and all the rules and regulations - like not being able to park in the driveway (have to go into the garage).  So many rule, and I am not that kind of person.  I wouldn't be able to have a clothesline, for sure.

I think that ideally for me, I would be living as part of a community with shared spaces and responsibilities.  Maybe I help with the chickens and gardens, but I'm not the only one responsible; maybe we cook and share food.  Maybe I help out with childcare from time to time, that kind of thing.  I've said since college that I want to live on a commune with my friends and that wish hasn't changed but our realities have.  Maybe it falls on me to find the place and welcome others, but tbh I don't really want to be in charge of all of that.  

Most of the intentional communities I've found out about are either for quite rich people (high cash buy-ins), or a bit too counterculture for me.  I have middle class tastes.  I like electricity and running water.  I also have working class values, and I always lift a shovel when the need is there.  

So then I think if I have friends with an attached apartment or some other configuration.  We can make a small community.  Maybe that's an option someday.  

Or maybe I look abroad, where I can definitely hang laundry on the line, and often eat healthier foods much more easily.  

That is another rant - I went to the supermarket by Friend's house to get her prescription and I was so struck by how small the produce department is.  You can only have four heads of cabbage, but how many types of Mountain Dew?  That is insane. I'm not the only person struggling with my health here for good reason.

And I've been off refined sugar now for weeks, definitely less than 10 grams per day. (Sometimes I have some small piece of very dark chocolate, or a bit of jam.)  I am not really feeling better physically.  My brain does feel clearer I guess - fewer brain fogs.  But I'm sleeping for shit and my muscle and joint aches are harsh right now. 

There is a retirement community with apartments about two blocks from where I work now, that I would quality to move into in two years.  Part of me fantasizes about how it would be to just rent there for a couple of years and continue to work.  I think that one there's no more dog, I will be quite lonely here in this house and yard I bought for her.  I would have less space of course, and would not be building equity, but I believe the costs would be comparable to what I pay now for mortgage, utilities, house repairs, etc.  And oh what a delight it would be for dinner to be prepared and served by others, to just easily walk to the office (and always use the work car for meetings instead of my personal vehicle), etc.  The longer I can stay working in this job, the much better my savings.  But I certainly would miss hanging clothes on a line. 

I could also move in with Friend, but tbh we both like our own space.  I toy with putting a tiny house into her backyard, but I'm not sure of the financial logistics of that.  

Anyway, lots to think about and plenty of time for the thinking.

Anyway, lots of things to think about. 

showing up

 I had grand plans for today, heaps to do.  

Instead, I spent much of the day running around for Friend.  Her doctor prescribed paxlovid and it was over $600.  I looked up discounts and it seemed the best is from the manufacturer.  There were a lot of issues with it and I had to drive to her pharmacy repeatedly to try to sort it out, but eventually it did, and with the discount it was a grand cost of $0.  

And part of me is annoyed of course, at giving up a rare day off to run around for something that I probably wouldn't both taking.  But she is higher risk - she's 65.  

And this is of course the number 1 reason why I moved here.  She is not going to live forever - her mother died at 70 and her father at 55.  And I want to help usher her into retirement, connect her with activities.  She can isolate herself and she has always worked full-time, and I don't know that she knows how to leisure.  So I worry about her, and I'm here.  And part of that is racking up miles on my car to get her medication and saving her $600.   I will have other days off. 

crispy

 I'm so burnt (out) that I'm crispy.  It's a Wednesday and I moved appointments and taking a personal day to do personal stuff.

The list is so long.  I feel like I need to cram a year's worth of chores into a few days because I'm racing the rains.  We're in a climate that has about five months of daily rain, five months of no rain, and two months of a mix.  Last night it rained and yesterday was cold, to remind me of what's coming, to push me to keep going.

Yesterday the fencing guy came to check out the patio to see if they can fix it up.  I'm afraid that quote is going to be too high.  I know I just need to replace it, but (a) the boards are all still really solid above where it rotted at the bottom, (b) the quality of wood is really high, probably from decades ago, (c) I'm not in any financial position to be building new structures right now, and (d) before I build the new patio structure I would probably want to replace the cracking concrete, replace my dining room window with a slider to directly access the improved patio area, etc.  All that shit is expensive AF, and I'm not dropping heavy $$ just to wish I'd had more money to do it how I want.  If they are too expensive, the carpenter who's coming back in a few weeks may be able to tackle it more piecemeal like I want.  REplace the bottoms of the rotted out posts, affix footers, strip old finishes, restain/paint.  Or maybe I do it myself next spring/summer.  But the guy pointed out HOW rotted out all the posts are and it's seeming a little more urgent.

Friend has come down with COVID for the first time, and we spent hours together on Sunday in close proximity so I'm a little concerned about my cough and general unwellness.  I pulled out chicken carcass I'd frozen for stock and that's simmering now, and I plan to make chicken noodle soup tonight.  For her and for me just in case.  I picked up new tests and dropped off a care package last night.  I flagged where to get tom kha gai delivered from if I can't pick it up myself.  I'll try to prepare some other food as I only have ingredients in my house.  

Just in case.  

I've never ordered food delivered here except a pizza once or twice (it was waaaay too salty), never used Door DAsh or any of those things, so I need to plan ahead.  COVID really knocked out my brain last time and I couldn't figure out food.  Plus, I figure if I'm planning ahead then I won't get it, right?  I am also needing to go get some local honey to help with tea and elderberry syrup.  

My list is too long, I won't get it all done.  But I'll make a dent. 

another Saturday morning

 The fence got done early this week and the dog got introduced to the expanded area yesterday.  She is such a funny dog; she went straight to feral, as she does.  I waited until Friend could come over just in case of an emergency like an opening I didn't catch.  This dog definitely demands a second pair of hands at times.  But all was well, it's very solid.  I put boards all along the bottom and when I mulch massively after native plantings hopefully next month (waiting for the rains), I'll build more mulch along the bottom.  I'm aware this can rot out fence boards but my concerns are always with safely containing this little furry force of nature.  I buy houses and put in fences multiple time for this dog.  She's very fortunate I make a pretty good living.

I received a listing for a job for which I'm quite qualified and I guess in some ways would be nice - such as less stress and not such long hours.  But it pays significantly less, and it would also have some aspects that are undesirable to me.  Maybe it would be a job I would like when I retire from this job.  Maybe.  I was talking with someone yesterday doing her job after retirement - she said that retirement is fun for a year or two but then you start looking for something real again.  I've met many people who say that, but frankly I think I will so quickly fill up my time and energy after I retire with volunteer activities, gardening, travel, other projects.  I would like a low-key part-time gig to cover health care costs and such, but having A JOB like the stressful demanding one now - no thank you.  My house is in shambles from a dense workweek and I have so many garden things to do.  I totally forgot about watering my new plants in the front yard - and some are fine with the heat and drought but the azalea for instance looks dying.  Honestly it's never been happy here and if it dies I will replace it with something different.  I like azaleas fine but they dont really excite me like some other things do.  Oof, I need a good chunk of bandwidth to start doing my yard planning.  

And a lot of other things.   

bone tired

 Thank goodness for this three day weekend, as I'm getting every ounce of work out of it.  

My bones are tired from all the climbing around with harvesting and cutting.  I cut the trees back a lot and hauling and chopping is some manual labor right there.  Up and down ladders too much is hard for me and thankfully Friend came over to hand things up and down.  I cut up so much fruit for dehydrating that my hands cramped up and couldn't move (I'm guessing from dehydration and overuse, and I could not drink enough water to hydrate enough).

There's more labor on tap for today; hopefully mustering the energy to weedwhack along the street (because my neighbors water and it flows in the street, it grows weeds in the street cracks in front of my house), continue the fruit drying frenzy (loving my new dehydrator that is humming along with plums).  Today should be nice and cool but we have a week of HOT coming up and I need to do some deep watering.  I also need to harvest a lot and tend to those tomatoes and beans - I plan to can a heap of beans today.  I also need to figure out which squash I planted where and when it's ready for harvest - I put in like five kinds, most of which I'd never grown before (but have eaten a lot of, like kuri squash).  

Then I need to clean and cook for the week ahead, and get into bed at a decent hour. 

Unfortunately I'm bailing on the dog walk this weekend, but I don't have the energy.  We'll play some ball, and she'll entertain herself with helping me at every turn and chasing off all the intruders.  She's such a good dog, for a hellion.  She ate at least three whole pears yesterday when we were harvesting, snatching the best ones that fell to the ground.  When Dear Friend was here last weekend helping me harvest purple plums, the dog was just taking the best plums directly from her hand.  She does love her fruit, this little furry one.  (She's on the couch with me as usual and just curled up as close as she can, knowing I'm talking about her.)

We filled the green bins with branches from trimming, but I still have several piles and I'm contemplating some hugelkultur or at least some berms.  I get sad to have all the biomass removed from my land.  

The fencers are taking the day off (they say because the lumber yard is closed and they have to exchange so many boards).  This project is taking much longer than it would with more experienced people, but it'll get done.  

All right, I'm caffeinated and it's time to move these old bones in a laborly direction.