Winds and rain are here. We got a 2-poop walk in and now the dog is stress eating.
I just had a moment of panic, but I'll gird my loins. This almost Cat5 status is scary, I won't lie. when I went to bed it was looking more cat3 than cat4, and now this?
It's been a few nights without enough sleep, and now I still have lots to do. Vacuuming, cleaning, etc. I also found drybags and will probably pack them up as a just in case.
Likely to lose power soon.
We are not evacuating, we are staying for Hurricane Ida. I think we'll be ok, just inconvenienced with an extended power outage.
Please wish us and everyone else in this storm's path the best.
Back to preparations now.
Well. Tropical Storm Ida is revving up and has us in her sights. I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday but I may well be hunkering down as we're battered by a hurricane instead.
There is so much preparation to do, from getting all the important documents in a waterproof box (oh look, my house is underinsured) to grinding coffee and finding camping gear (I'm not weathering a hurricane without coffee) to tying down large yard items to securing gates to charging everything to getting cash. Already gassed up the truck, bought too many groceries, and confirmed the evacuation destination if it comes to that. there's no talk of evacuation now thank goodness, but I expect we will be without power for a few days and I want to minimize damages in high winds. The house they're building nextdoor picked up most of the debris but there are a few pallets and such I'll want to tuck under there. I need to get my neighbors' phone numbers in case of evacuation. And then there are the little things, like doing laundry and cooking and vacuuming while I can, freezing ice, filling jars and buckets with water. I don't think we'll lose water here - that's for devastation like Katrina, in which case I will not be sticking around - but it's good to be prepared.
It's kind of a kick in the pants to get rolling on some things, like stabbing the pond liner so that the water drains. I should have done it weeks ago but out of sight out of mind (and it's engulfed in weeds), and recently West Nile virus has been found here so I really need to take that standing water issue more seriously.
I am a bit concerned about the whole job thing - I was wanting to start so I'd get insurance for new glasses and dentist. With the current forecast I won't be going anywhere on Monday (hurricane force winds, massive flooding, etc.) but if it passes without devastation I could be starting up later in the week. Well, nothing I can do except be prepared for the storm.
I woke up before 5 am, jolted fully awake with this to-do list. The dog is still passed out, as she's in high-stress mode when awake which is exhausting.
We're going to be fine. It's time to take the preparation steps I know too well.
Yesterday I set out with the dog on a walk, and when we turned a corner she started barking. I couldn't see why, and then finally emerged a man with three dogs.
The same man whose loose dogs had run up to us a few weeks ago. Recap: two dogs, I shouted "Get your dogs!" He called and they ignored him; I tried to turn and go away and the little white dog decided to get in Ziggy's face to challenge her. Ziggy then picked up the dog and shook it around like a stuffed toy. The man and I panicked, he came and grabbed Ziggy to get the dog loose, she eventually dropped it, the dog walked off and shook itself like it had gotten a little wet, the man called to someone to take dog to vet, we walked away. No blood or anything, and not he sort of shaking to break its neck. I felt awful of course, which was allayed by a couple of days later seeing the man with all dogs walking past so it was fine, and also because everyone reminded me there are leash laws and we were rushed by dogs from quite a distance - this wasn't in their front yard, this was across a very wide street.
Yesterday, the man said something to me across the street. His dogs were barking as was mine. She didn't appreciate what was happening and neither did I. The only thing I could hear was "Were you even going to check if the dog was ok?" I said, "I can talk to you later." Mind you, lots of dogs barking, impossible to hear. We kept going and Ziggy was still going crazy - I looked back to see that it looked like the man was going to follow us - he had left the sidewalk across the street and was in the street, had turned to face in our direction. I know he's a runner and could catch us in a second but what am I going to do? We kept walking. I finally got Ziggy calmed down and we kept going a few blocks, then turned and it looked like a dog off leash ahead, so we turned around - to see the man with the dogs following us. He had turned around to go behind us. So we turned back toward the off-leash dog and booked it. Fortunately its owner put it on leash and was walking away from us, as Ziggy was screaming in panic. We kept walking toward home and I heard a dog barking, to see it was outside and I wasn't sure how restrained so we had to stop and wait to be sure it wouldn't rush us.
We finally got home, and now it's been about 24 hours to reflect and I'm pissed off.
All I want is to walk my dog in peace. She panics when dogs are near and I try to mitigate that - we have very wide streets and I can usually see far up ahead what's going on and we do a lot of turns.
I cannot help that my dog has issues. I've worked with numerous trainers and a behavioral veterinarian, and the issue is like a phobia. Just like you can't tell a person to stop being phobic about spiders and snakes, you can't make my dog be less afraid of loose dogs rushing us.
This guy let his dogs rush us. There is a leash law that we were following and he was not. Our right to a peaceful walk was violated by his bad and illegal choices. He set my dog back years, honestly. She was doing better and now I don't know if I will ever get her to panic less. My dog could easily have killed all of his dogs and him, and she didn't. When the dog was removed from her mouth, she didn't bite him or the dog. She wasn't aggressive. She wanted the obnoxious dog to stop and so she handled it. My only regret is that I wasn't able to handle it for her. Maybe I have to start carrying pepper spray to spray at dogs who come anywhere near us.
And instead of taking responsibility for HIS actions, he's trying to blame me. And now he is accosting me? Oh no. No no and no. I cannot have a nuanced conversation with him over four dogs barking like crazy and I don't know who he is or which house is his for sure - and if I did, what would I do? Go to his house to tell him to stop following me and tell him his responsibility is to his own goddamn dogs? I don't see how that would be helpful. What I may do if it happens again is to yell "Leave us alone and follow leash laws!" Because all i want, all i ever really want, is peace with my dog.
Yesterday was weird with him yelling at me and following us. If it continues or escalates, I may consider getting a protective order to keep him away. I've heard many protective order hearings and I know what arguments I would make though I'm not of Louisiana law - in another state I know well, I would be able to demonstrate a course of conduct and why his yelling and following and leash law violating makes me feel unsafe and concerned he will escalate.
I think the guy may be a bully and telling him to back off may be enough. He may have well twisted that I am somehow responsible, and I am not buying into that. Do I wish that my dog was less ready to leap at any sign of danger? Maybe. But honestly, I did get my dog for safety. AFter an attempted sexual assault while walking early in the morning, and people trying to break into my house in the middle of the night, I WANTED and STILL WANT a dog who will protect me. If that man comes at me to accost me physically, I am glad that my dog will prevent him. She will guard my life, and this is the world we live in. She is not a highly trained Schutzhund who will attack on command, but she is keenly attuned to my state of mind.
IF she had gotten loose and ran up and attacked the dogs, this would be a very different situation. But she didn't. And I keep her restrained. I work hard at his.
And all I fucking want is to be able to walk my dog in peace. I don't mean total peace - of course dogs bark at us, cats run (usually away, but at least one has rushed us and scratched the dog's nose), cars speed. Shit happens. And it's a tightrope with the dog's ability to function. She's so very sensitive to everything. But she had started being able to ignore dogs barking from houses and fences (if across the street), and if dogs are far enough away to not respond. She was honestly doing great. And this asshole wants to set that all back AND THEN COME FOR ME? Fuck that.
Do I wish I could effectively tell Ziggy not to bite? Maybe, but how do I know that the little white dog wasn't going to bite her and me? It came at us, refused to back off. Any bites would be unlikely life-threatening, but the more I think about this, the more I think Ziggy wasn't in the wrong. And this guy is upset that I didn't check on his dog that rushed us?
When I very first got Ziggy we enrolled in a training class. Lots of bad with that, but the worst was when she slipped her collar and ran toward another dog who bit her and she bit back. I of course paid all bills and apologized BECAUSE MY DOG WAS UNRESTRAINED. And that's where fault lies. Ziggy has bit other dogs - a shih tzu that kept teasing her and she broke through the fence and bit it. The bite was very mild according to the vet, and they had to shave the dog to even find any mark. Still absolutely my fault and I take full responsibility. She bit a dog that I had invited to come over to play - they weren't introduced properly and Ziggy thought the dog was an intruder so she attacked. I absolutely take responsibility and felt wracked with guilt.
This is not that. This is me and my dog wanting to walk in peace.
Sigh.
On the flip side, Ziggy is really digging the backyard. It's so freaking hot now, but once the sun goes down she goes outside. I know she's waiting for the possum to return and she will kill that, but she's mostly just chilling. She likes to watch the little frogs hop around. She likes to sniff every flower. She just chills and it's really sweet. We really love our backyard.
**
On 8/24 he went past my house twice at least (that I saw), once running and once with three dogs. It feels creepy. While he does live nearby, there are at least five other routes he can take just as easily, including one designated as a walking trail.
Sheesh will I be glad when I'm finished processing all these elderberries. I keep making such a mess - one berry will fall on the floor, I'll step on it, and soon the floor is purple. The color of these berries is so beautiful, but also messy.
I anticipate finishing processing today the last of the berries I froze on the stem, then this weekend I'll cook them into juice, add acid appropriately, and can in small jars and water bath them the appropriate amount of time to make them shelf stable. Once I open a jar, what I don't use right away I'll freeze as ice cubes. The issue with relying on a freezer is hurricane season of course, so I don't. We've all lost a lot of food from freezers.
I didn't get THAT many berries ... maybe 30 cups or so. It's more tedious and timeconsuming than I remembered, to get the berries off the stems. And once I've got these all done, I'll hop down to the elderberry down the street to see if the birds have left me four cups worth to make a pie. And I will enjoy how empty my freezer looks without all these berries shoved in there.
I will be very glad to have all this elderberry on hand, and I'll mix it in with the bidens alba oxymel (honey/vinegar) for a super immune boost. The vinegar is not locally made but everything else is - the honey is from three miles away, from very happy bees. I swapped some oxymel with the beekeeper for more honey and she was very excited. Her health is dragging as mine is and she plans to take it daily, as an ecologist friend of mine does.
One of the really greatest things is to learn new things every day. I only learned about oxymels since I moved back here, and about bidens alba (which is most of my front yard right now), about giant swallowtail caterpillars, and so many other things. I bonded too closely with the caterpillars, watching them being laid and turning into little monsters, so entertaining as they live an Eric Carle book. But the tree they were on is weak and new, so yesterday I drove them out to a friend's school, where the students rehomed them. It took a chunk of time but I felt good about it. I have so many swallowtails and other butterflies flitting about, thanks to the messy weedy front yard. I'll have more eggs laid but hopefully the anoles will keep them in check and the trees will be able to withstand the leaf chomping.
I'm very excited that I got a perfectly functioning food dehydrator for $8 at Goodwill. Hopefully I'll have a large harvest of papaya this year to dry, and bananas soon, and various other such yard goodness. I could also dehydrate elderberries but I found it tedious with huckleberries so I like my juice idea better.
So, today I shall not deliver caterpillars or oxymels, but I shall stay home with this eldermess, and I shall complete house tasks and work on dissertation proposal and contact committee and various such things. It shall be a busy day indoors, except to put laundry on the line, as it's another heat advisory. At this point, I'm just hunkering down through the heat, waiting for October to come. It will. It always does.
And I'll take the dog for a walk now, for the first time in weeks. We did have an incident two days ago, the yappy dog next door got loose and made a run for our porch where Ziggy was NOT having it and it took me and my friend helping me move furniure to hold her back. She has been very sweet since, so maybe we'll be ok. Sigh. She is actually such a good dog, but the world conspires to freak her out.
OK, time to get rolling with what will be a great day.
**
Update: we took a different route for our morning walk and I found more ripe elderberries just a block from my house. Woop woop!
And I'm connecting some dots ... the bidens alba/pilosa that has taken over my frontyard is a medicinal powerhouse, and I've made tinctures and oxymels with it. I take a spoonful from time to time when I feel pain or like my immune system needs a boost (whenever I've had human contact), and it seems to make me feel better. What if my chronic fatigue and pain is malaria? I had malaria a few times when I lived in West Africa, and what if my body didn't get rid of it? As I'm reading research, that seems not unlikely. And of course I haven't been tested for it since I've been gone from there for a decade, and then a few years after that I got chikungunya which felt like a one-two punch. I blame the chik-V, but what if it's the malaria? What if that is what makes me feel like crap so often? I am vividly recalling the first time I got malaria - I had gone off the anti-malarials when I visited friends in Paris, and all I wanted to do was sleep on their couch. While he and I were very close friends, she was annoyed with how lazy I was. When I got back to Africa my lover thought it seemed like I had malaria and took me t to a clinic, and sure enough - it was super active in my blood. Treated, but how effectively? The first medication I took did nothing and was likely fake (like much of the medications there) so we tried again. And I recall when I left there and spent a month in the DR allegedly working on Spanish but I felt so crappy, so very very crappy. I went to a spa and they couldn't do anything right for me because I was so miserable. I've clawed my way back to feeling well enough to function somewhat, but ... what if it is as simple as me still having malaria in my spleen that resurges from time to time, which is apparently not uncommon? Stress certainly doesn't help, and hormones of menopause don't help either. Well, once I get health insurance I'll find a doctor and get some tests.
And in the meantime, I have medicine in my front yard.
As I wrap up a glorious period of unemployment, countless tasks lie before me. Just within my view - move the recycling bin back, put that cooler away after I use it today, put away that pasta sauce and mineral water, install the new air return (after I paint the dining room), find a home for the folding chairs I got from a friend, move the little buffet/plant stand to the dining room (after it's painted), clean off the end tables, go again to Costco to see if they've yet gotten the rug in that I want for my living room and also keep checking FB Marketplace, and of course paint the living room. Some of those are big projects (like painting the living room), but others are super easy peasy and I should JUST DO THEM. Every time I notice the recycling bin hasn't been moved, it's taking brain space when it shouldn't - I should see it and do it. And usually I'm fairly good about this, but I've been so focused on getting big projects done that I haven't allowed myself to redirect with the little tasks because I can definitely get stuck on other things - like the whole "Wait, what did I walk into this room for again? Well, until I remember I'll make the bed and organize the clothes and rehang that rack and ..." and then I've totally forgotten the mission. But now it's time to get back to just doing what I see. Take sizable chunks of what is daunting.
I really want to get my garden beds in but it is just too fucking hot. Yesterday it finally rained hard and broke the heat, but by the time it stopped it was dark. Usually the rains are more like around 3 pm so from 6 on or so there's a nice little work outside period; fingers crossed that turns up again soon because I've got a lot to do out there. And I'm still chipping away at elderberries, obsessed with canning up a bunch of juice as shots for when I'm not feeling well (and to share), but with all the hours spent stripping the berries from all non-berry, it's a labor of love. I wanted to share berries with a mutual aid fellow making syrup to share, but it's too onerous and my hands aren't working right, and instead I bought some gourmet ice cream for a woman who's providing heaps. I might still go pick a few more in order to make a pie because that's a lovely reward for me, and honestly I might just keep the whole damn pie for myself to eat over days because it's so fraught to socialize right now with the pandemic and all that.
I'm bracing myself to go to DMV today. I must get my local license and registered to vote here again. Hopefully with appointments there won't be a cluster of people and I won't have to wait long, but I'm ready to triple mask and sanitize like hell and keep my face to the wall like I had to do a few weeks ago.
I'm scheduled to start my job in less than two weeks and ... honestly despite the HR person being atrociously bad at her job, I'm quite looking forward to it. The actual substance of the work will be rewarding and interesting to me, at least for awhile. I can become a bit of an expert, follow interesting rabbit trails in that pursuit, and as long as I let the important people look good with my work behind the scenes I should be ok. I don't think it should be too physically taxing which is good for me and my limited energy, and I'll have my own quiet office. Unreasonable demands will be made on me constantly, but I'm used to that. I'll set things up from the beginning of working just the 6.5 hours I'm paid, and going home for the hour lunch. The dog will need it after all this pandemic time togetherness, and i think it'll be ok. Once the weather cools down and I have schedules set up, I'll start biking to work and spending my lunch hour working on personal things.
I must start working on my dissertation proposal. My advisor is not as good as before about being in contact, and I'm using that as an excuse to drag my heels. But classes have started and I really need to get on it and spend at least 10 hours a week on things. Not sure how I'll do exams with starting a new job, but I'll figure it out. I did also apply for another job, with the organization I need to work with for another year to get vested in retirement. Don't know what the chances are but I had to take it - it would pay a lot better and set me up for at least modest retirement. It would also be more demanding and be in a building that I don't like to work in, but ... I gotta do what I gotta do.
I do think things are going to work out for me ok.
In contrast with the lives of many other women in the world. I've spent some days really upset about Afghanistan especially, calling politicians and voicing my concerns, arguing with people to be more empathetic. My poor dog got whipped up into a frenzy, vicariously feeling my concerns with our very poor actions. To be clear, I don't think we should be invading and occupying other countries, but if we ARE there, then withdrawals need to be executed in a way to reduce harm to people - and that was not done, instead there was blame shifting and defensive posturing that I find very troubling. And I'm even more committed to hosting refugees and asylum seekers, doing what I can to help.
The older I get, the more I appreciate JUST DOING THINGS. I used to sort of sit back and reflect and strategize, but now I see how little that actually does. If somebody needs help, help them. Do things. Don't think about how things are hard, just do them. And support others doing the things. We all have a role to play, and that role isn't just sitting and not doing anything unless you are providing a shit-ton of financial contributions. One of the stories from the Bible that always struck me was the poor woman tithing, and it's so true - it's people without much who are most generous, and that is a suckety suck world. We all need to step up more. Mutual aid, y'all. Do it.
That's how much garden soil I can shovel in 90 degree heat before I melt.
Next step is getting the garden beds assembled and moving it all again.
I met a cool person today who's in the know about my PhD topic and she's like yes, do it. Plus she has a good manure source for the gardens.
I'm getting pretty stoked to get these garden beds in. Once I rehydrate and rest and get some other things done. There's a smelly portalet (portapotty) put right by the soil I need to move and ... yeah.
***
I am following the crisis in Afghanistan with horror. If you haven't seen the Afghan film Osama, do. It's brave and raw and educational.
I hate the arrogant imperialism that put us there; I also hate what's happening now. I think the answer is that the US should offer asylum and safe passage for every Afghani who feels the need to leave - starting with women and girls and journalists. And we should as a people reach out and offer support to a flood of refugees. That is our responsibility for leaving like his.
Yesterday's hauling of soil really knocked me out hard. I have to be more careful when the sun is out because I got pretty sick. I feel better today, and fortunately the dog is enjoying a lazy Sunday. I have lots to do. Like always.
I think a lot about money because it's what I need to survive. I am notorious for not caring about making much money, but I can squeeze a lot out of the little I make. My focus on frugality has served me well for all my life, and I'm fixated on it now because I want to quit working as soon as I can. I love not working. Well, more accurately, I want "barista FIRE" - I want to early retire but continue working enough to pay my expenses, not to touch my retirement savings until years down the road.
Having money makes saving money so much easier - instead of paying a ton of rent, I own a house with an attached apartment which covers half my mortgage; and because the house was inexpensive and I put a large downpayment, my mortgage is less than rent would be. I had enough money 20 years ago to buy a lightly used Toyota Tundra, and that thing is still going for me (quite well, I must add) - while it's a gas guzzler, I don't drive too much, and I have used it for hauling SO MUCH STUFF. Just yesterday I used it for large cardboard from Costco to smother garden weeds; this morning I'll haul compost from one friend to another for mutual aid purposes; day before yesterday I hauled furniture from a friend to various donations; before that I hauled a load of dirt to set up garden beds in my yard to grow food to share. And how many times have I moved in this Tundra? Too many to count. It remains the perfect vehicle for me, but if I had bought something less expensive in 2002, I wouldn't still have it. I almost sold it before moving to New Orleans until a friend here told me not to, and her advice about avoiding street flooding with a high vehicle was very sound.
I shamelessly borrow and thrift - as I look around my house, I'm sitting on a couch left behind by tenant, by a chair left behind by seller of the house, a table borrowed from a friend, chairs borrowed from another friend, a Facebook Marketplace rug, a kitchen cart I found on the curb; my end tables are the plastic chests I use to transport my worldly belongings. And I love it. I don't want fancy expensive things. I also sit beside a Queen Anne recliner that I HAD to have years ago when I worked in a fancy job; I paid $600 for the damn thing and I'm afraid to use it much and make it dirty. Because I'm so often dirty, with the hauling dirt and all that. And every time I leave I have to find somebody to house it for me, and it's a big pain in my ass. I don't even like it that much anymore; the style definitely fit better at the older house I was living in years ago when I bought it. It's a reminder to me to buy inexpensive.
A new friend keeps remarking on how I changed her relationship with recycling and I have no idea what she's talking about, but I do know that I take everyone's trash. GIVE ME YOUR JELLY JARS. I will reuse jars and lids with zero shame. I just canned up a bunch of blackberry syrup using old lids - I know they say not to reuse lids, but fuck them. It was blackberries from the front yard that I gathered; they weren't really flavorful so they are better with sugar. I sort of halfheartedly tried to make jam without any additional pectin; it was really an experiment and I'm actually happy I ended up with a thick syrup that I put in yogurt. That made space in my freezer for heaps of elderberries, some processed and some not; I plan to make and can juice to keep on hand shelf stable for maladies that arise, likely to add to a bidens oxymel. I also want to make a pie. Jelly not so much - I just don't really care for jellies like I do jams, and I already have heaps of jam that I've made with wild berries. And yes, I dropped $80 or so on my countertop canner because I love it and use it so much. It will more than make up its expense quickly, as the last one I used did (I brought cases with me of salmon that I'd canned). I LOVE FREE FOOD and I want to up my foraging game.
My foraging friend and I went to Costco yesterday and split a membership. Usually I don't lie, but saying she's my roommate to split the cost seems fair to me - why do single people always have to pay a premium? It was still $33 each but that I can better justify than paying the whole thing on my own. The gas there saves me money, and some other things from time to time. Like a rug, if they restock their sale. And dog food, though the vet told me to start cooking the dog's food. Kibble is just so damn convenient though.
But Costco is a good example of how easy it is to overspend when thinking you're saving money. I have to curb my impulses there for sure and stop myself from buying things I just really do not need. I can make my own damn dog treats for way less money.
I want to save enough money to stop working because I love the freedom of this life. I'm bummed that my teacher friends are back in school now, and that I will be back at work again soon too probably. I will say that if this job forces me to COVID exposure again that I will walk away. I don't need that shit. I am though really looking forward to having health insurance. I need new glasses pretty bad, and have a tooth issue that isn't getting better and at minimum will likely require a crown replacement.
How do I know when I have enough savings to quit working? I can plan for some contingencies outside the normal budget, like glasses and dental, but so much is unknown. Inflation makes me nervous, among other things like medical and natural disasters.
I need to find a side hustle to help me reach my savings goals and which I can hold onto as I transition to a life post nine to five. Contract gigs? Farmers market sort of thing? I don't know, I have to figure it out. I'm my own worst enemy though, with my distaste for making too much $$. I'll be aight though. I'm fortunate like that.
Against the odds, I am having the best of times.
Not in my favor: a very ugly rise of pandemic that is killing people and causing such stress to healthcare workers. My heart goes out to them (the workers and few breakthrough infections; the people who refuse to vaccinate, not as much).
Also not: the August heat. I swear everyone that heard I was coming back in May said: "But that's before summer! Ugh! Come back after summer!" And it is miserably hot and it is impossible to restrain the jungle in my front yard with the heat and rain.
And I'm unemployed, so not enjoying the benefits of work (like a paycheck and health insurance). And of course my chronic fatigue and pain is still with me.
Despite these things, I'm having the best of times. I love being unemployed, and I fill my days with fun activities like harvesting and picking clean gallons of elderberries, volunteering, home improvement tasks, gardening, and doing random truck errands (today I'm picking up furniture from a friend to provide an antique rocker to a refugee new mother and a table to migrant house; this weekend I'm hauling compost from a friend to a woman who is setting up to grow tons of seedlings to distribute mutual aid style). I'm meeting great people, reconnecting with friends (who live near me - I have this bizarre aversion to traveling "Uptown"). Today I'll take honey to a friend who's making heaps of elderberry syrup to distribute mutual aid style and get seeds he saved while connecting with his wife whom I used to work with and am also very fond of.
I'm taking a lot of COVID precautions, from always masking and sanitizing, to reducing my exposure through staying at least 6' away from people and being outdoors, and not going into places very often. A friend asks if I want to go to coffee; I suggest we forage for berries instead. There are ways to socialize that reduce risk, if not entirely eliminate it.
My volunteering with migrants has slowed down; in part because of the system (fewer people coming through), but also because of my COVID fears. I do want to host, and the Catahooligan would love it, but that seems a pretty high risk and I'm not letting anyone in my home. And because hosting is on more of a back burner now, I have a gazillion unfinished tasks and the tools and supplies lying all around. I need to take tomorrow to get on top of things because it's getting stressful to be in such clutter.
In addition to getting the house under control, I need to focus back on my PhD. Need to pay my tuition bill today and get in touch with committee to make a plan. I also need to get vegetable garden beds put in to start growing heaps of food to share. I think I have the bed plan and strategy (old fenceboards and blocks), and I've hauled 1/2 cubic yard of garden bed soil, but now I just need to do it. The weeds are so adamantly in control. I even have bidens alba growing in the concrete around my front steps, threatening that if I don't make it all into medicine that it will move into my house. I have so much of it that it would be enough medicine for the whole damn city, but I make a quart of oxymel to pass onto a friend who has dropper bottles and a good mutual aid distribution system that he worked out last year.
Times are about to get tough. Let's all dig in and help, and maybe we'll have happy memories of getting through.
It's a little fun when people who think they're cool try to talk down to me by referencing a group for information, and i'm personal friends with the leaders of the group. Like the person saying "Look at me I'm so cool because I know about this person," and then the person makes comments on my Facebook wall that make it clear we hang out.
The wisdom of going where celebrated and not just tolerated is one that firmly resounds with me. In this city, some people seem to think I'm pretty great. I move through the world comfortably here, not giving a fuck what anybody thinks and finding tribes in the process.
I think often of "what comes next" but I honestly don't know if that will be up to me - I may just be waiting for another disaster to make decisions for me. I have liked many places that I've lived, and I REALLY miss my neighbors at my last place, but there is no place in the world where I feel as much myself as this place.
And so I plant fruit trees in the backyard, anticipating good harvests in five years.
Yesterday I went out of town to a friend of a friend's place to pick elderberries. She's on acreage that was homesteaded 120 years ago, with fruit trees planted over the years. It's an amazing place with all the things to eat, but it has her completely overwhelmed. And I don't want to get to that spot. Another friend I visited a few weeks ago is in the same spot - an exquisite piece of land on a bayou with gorgeous landscaping, which is far too much for them to keep up with. And I do need to consider these demands as I make plans. Lawn is easy - hire somebody to mow and whack, that's the way here. But it's much harder and more expensive to find people to weed and mulch and maintain more natural spaces. My friend converted her lawn to other plantings a few years ago, and she is spending so much time on its upkeep, which is not what I want.
OK, time to focus back on elderberry processing. Siiiiiiigh. These buggers take forever. The plan is to can elderberry juice, which could be converted to syrup or whatever else as necessary. If I can get enough, I'll give to a friend who plans to make syrup to distribute mutual aid style. This weekend I plan to go out with a friend to find more berries (she thinks she found some, but they are new to her) and to make a pie.
Find friends to forage with. That's the secret to my happiness.
Maybe we're not the cool kids, and I don't give the tiniest of fucks. As I have my entire life, I just do my own damn thing.
Yesterday a man I recently met through volunteering agreed to give me a hand buying a mattress set. Turns out he needed to get out of the house and pick up a book so it all worked out well. Also he loves dogs, and the Catahooligan instantly fell in love with him, and she was very happy to meet a new friend as we've been on lockdown for a minute again already. He said, "If you ever want someone to spend the day with her - " "Yes! Absolutely!" He doesn't have a car but it is a direct bus ride from my house to his, and I want to put a code access on my front door so people like him can let themselves in to visit dog, etc.
On my way to pick him up, at a long stoplight with no other cars around, I checked Facebook on my phone. I saw a person I only know through Facebook was looking for someone to pick up food from a foodbank to deliver to her. She does pop-up pantries which I've contributed to because I really appreciate all she does to help her neighbors in need. She's really considerate about it, staying up until 3 am to ensure service workers have a chance to get what they need. And after I checked in with the friend I was picking up, we headed to the food bank, which was really nice. The best I've seen - from the organization to the quality of the food. There were crates of butternut squash and plums in front, so we grabbed a bunch of those and some other produce, and then a bunch of nonperishables, filled up the bed of my pickup, and headed to the pop-up pantry, where we filled her porch with the goods. And in person, she is even more wonderful than she is on Facebook.
I set aside a butternut squash and plums for myself, since there seemed to be a lot and I'm unemployed, and here's the point of this post: these plums are fantastic. I'd been contemplating if I wanted to get plum trees for my native plants front yard, and this answered my question resoundingly. Not only are the plums tasty for fresh eating (and the dog is very much into them), but it makes me dream of making pflaumkuchen and plum preserves - and of course sharing the goodness with others.
And the butternut squash - well, I don't really want to turn on the oven, so I think I'll ferment it, which is a great way to get me back into fermenting and spend time in my delightful kitchen.
Now I'm trying to figure out about this new bed - it is VERY HIGH. Like almost three feet up, so I have to climb up and could honestly use a step to get up. The dog is intimidated by its height, though she seems to actually like it quite a lot and keeps going there to sleep (and she can also see what's going on in the neighborhood out the window). She's probably nearly 7 years old, so how much longer can she jump that high? And how will I access the bed when I have back or hip pain, which happens from time to time? But I also kind of like it, so I think I may keep it. Later on I'll deal with accessibility issues, like by removing the box springs, or making it the guest bed, or installing a ramp. There are options that I dont have to figure out right now.
I'm so glad to be feeling better after so long feeling crappy. Here's hoping it sticks. So many things to do.
Feeling so lucky for this life I get to live.
I grew up in a pretty frugal home, and my paternal grandmother was exceedingly frugal and taught me well. It has served me well all my life, well to reach my goals. I will never fit into any kind of fancy society and that's just fine for me. I hate dressing up, and while I don't have to wear a tie, the lady professional attire is just as bad. I have had the same pickup for 20 years and I'm hoping to have it at least another 10. I buy simple inexpensive homes and don't do any expensive renovating that isn't necessary - so while I'll paint and other things like that, I'm not planning to replace flooring or change floor plans, or any of that. I've lived and traveled the world, but usually it's been with work covering my expenses, and crashing on the couches of friends and friends of friends.
But I do also have means to spend money, especially if it will enhance my life or save me money in the long run. I bought an electric car at my last place that I really enjoyed using, and like any auto purchase I lost money when I resold it (though I can't balk at that because I sold to former neighbors who have become very good friends now when we reconnected about the car - she even spent a full day helping me load my truck to move, and has made plans to come visit me here and volunteer with the organizations I do). I just redid my guestroom shower and it's gorgeous (and I'm glad I did because there was some damage starting to the subfloor due to shoddy installation before).
And so now that I've got most of the essentials done, I'm going down a rabbit hole. Do I keep waiting on Facebook Marketplace for a large living room rug I like well enough, or do I spend $300 to buy new? Do I buy this bathroom storage for $150 or keep waiting to find used? I hate buying new, but at some point I may well need to. And sometimes used is a problem - I got a bed for free from friends trying to sell it, but now I have to spend more on mattress and boxspring than if I'd just got a simpler platform, and I'm not crazy about buying a used mattress (though I would from friends or other people I know are clean and pay attention to bedbugs and such).
Bigger than that though are other questions - do I get my shower redone? Likely the same shoddy install as the other so it would be a good thing to avoid any damage to house, but ... should I replace it with a bathtub since there isn't one in the house? And if I'm doing that, should I move the bathroom to a more convenient place? Replumbing is easy with this house but now I'm talking a lot of money, and that's where I get stuck. Especially because it's hard to find good help, except my tile guy is fab and I could trust him to work here if I'm at work, without any concern. It makes me happy to use the new guest shower, where I can still smell new grout and everything is so fresh and new - is it worth another $2,500 to do the same for my shower, when I may rip it out in a few years' time to put in a bathtub? I don't know. I especially dont know because I just had that whole bathroom redone except for the shower, and I don't want any damage to it.
So this means I've made a lot of progress. I've still got two rooms to paint and touches here and there, and a couple things I want done like a new stairway and gate which I'll try to beg my neighbor to do since I'm so tired of bad carpenters, and garden beds to install, but yeah. I've done pretty good working through the list. And some things I plan to keep working on after I start my job. Little tasks for weekend and evenings, like light and pegboard install. I just really want to be sure that roomflow issues are all handled - that it doesn't feel like I'm living in a construction site walking around things in use. Once I get the painting done, that'll be much better.
And I'm really looking forward to getting on to the next things - the life things. The gardening, the food preserving, all that. I'm obsessed with these videos from a rural Azerbaijani couple, showing things like harvesting and putting up fruit for winter. I so enjoy doing things like that, and I like their pace. Long ago I lived in Russia for half a year, and I spent some weekends at the dacha with the grandmother of the family I lived with. She was a horrible person, very racist and anti-semitic, and my Russian wasn't good enough to do anything but walk away when she'd say things, but she taught me a lot about frugality. She'd lived through the siege of Leningrad and told me of eating rats and such; we stripped every tiny bit of chicken off every bone as she'd talk. I"d go with her to the garden plot to help, and learned a lot. She was ruthless, not at all sentimental about anything except her youngest granddaughter. It was a super dysfunctional family and I don't miss them a bit, but I did really like the days at the dacha. And how lucky am I to live in a city and have access to city things while also having space to grow food here? I just really need to get garden beds in.
And then chickens? Oh, I don't know. We'll see how it goes with the new neighbor who is building nextdoor in quite close proximity. Her boyfriend who's managing the build is not very friendly, but she seemed great, so we'll see. I don't want to give up backyard space for chickens, and it would really stress Ziggy out to have them there. Chickens in front, dog in back. My universal law. It's not legal to have them in the front here, but if nobody complains it's unlikely I'll be forced to move them. It's just a commitment, to build a coop and figure out fencing and all that. Food and water containers that don't encourage rodents - it's an investment. And I don't keep chickens exclusively for eggs, though of course I do love a source of fresh eggs (especially as now I really am not enjoying meat). They are so much fun, and such a great part of the yard ecosystem. But they are also a bit of work, and maybe I should hold off until I get more settled (and finish my PhD? Ugh). The issue with waiting is that my frontyard is a mess and chickens could help me get it in better shape with all their scratching and bug eating; they would like hiding in the masses of ginger and jasmine. If I don't get chickens in there soon, I'm likely to start removing those exotics to replace with native plants and put in gardens that I won't want chickens scratching up. So it's not exactly now or never, but kind of is.
All right, I may take the dog out for a walk this morning, the first time in two weeks, since she shook that little white dog like a rat. We'll see how this goes.
I'm trying to be patient about my new job, I really am. But I'm pretty frustrated. I've already spent like 15 hours unpaid labor on the hoops that this job has - absolutely ridiculous amount of hoops. I'm not trying to work for the NSA here. They made me drive hours to another town to be in a room for hours with unmasked people coughing worryingly. And having to keep going back, filling out more forms. A drug test even before I'm formally offered the job. It's been ridiculous. It feels like they think they own me before I'm even their employee, which is a big red flag.
And the pay and benefits aren't great. Like, there shouldn't be this much drama for that little. They are demanding information like if I've ever had gonorrhea. What the hell? I haven't but that's none of their goddamn business. I'm not applying to be a sex worker, and even if I were - gonorrhea is totally treatable so it wouldn't even matter if it were in my past, right? All that would matter is if I currently have it.
What makes this more difficult is the HR person is doing things like being in a small enclosed space with me WITHOUT A MASK. And she got annoyed with me for not returning things to her - BECAUSE SHE HAD EMAILED THE WRONG FORMS TO THE WRONG PERSON. Like, the two layers of wrong are concerning. Is she emailing my personal information to random other people?
Siiiiiighhhhh
