sick

 So, it started with a deep dive into artery health.  Something at 10:20 pm got me obsessed with how to not have my arteries get inflexible, and I kept diving. And then, I realized my GI tract was not pleased with me, and I couldn't sleep no matter the trick I tried.  It wasn't a perseveration, it was a upset upper intestine.  more like inflamed and throbbing than screaming with pain, but still not fun.  Couldn't sleep, couldn't sleep, then I finally fell asleep and the dog came charging in to announce it was her turn for GI distress and she HAD to go outside.  To her credit, she did not bark, but she was out there a damn long time searching for grass and puking.  Was it her being too empathetic, or did we both react badly to something I'd prepared?  Maybe the cassava flour?  I don't know, but I feel like crap, and MOnday was long, and I don't imagine how I can go camping in a few days.  

 Note: my blood pressure read as 140/78.  That systolic can go high when I don't take it correctly, but once I stopped leaning forward and peed, it clocked at 118/74.  I'm fine.  I'll start planning to check it a couple of times per months, just to be sure.  

**

Got my electricity bill and while the dollar amount is slightly less, the usage has gone down.  But before I applaud myself too loudly, I think that the bathroom remodel was still underway for part of that timeframe last year - looks like they finished around 2/20/25.  They ran the baseboard and wall heat units which are electricity hogs (which is one reason why I got my ductless units - the other reason is of course getting AC because summers are fucking hot now at times and this house doesn't seem to be oriented great).  

Woke up earlier than I have been, before 6:30.  Laid there for awhile, but then I got up and now I have milk heating to make yogurt, making a start to the day.  I'm just really REALLY wanting to go out camping this week.  I do feel much better than yesterday, funny how a night's sleep can do that (and lack of stomach issues), though my feet are not great.  It's not just that they hurt, it's that they lock up as well.  But if I keep to easier, flatter trails and don't try to take on the tough ones this trip, it could be ok ... and i'll take Voltaren if the pain is too much, and ... yes, I just really want to get out.  I don't even need to buy much to prep, just some crackers to eat with tuna, some gas.  I've got everything else on hand.  

**

Thank goodness I feel better today.  Just got the potatoes planted, some greens and root vegetables.  I see the peas are coming up, yay.  I still want to get a few more things planted, but maybe not today, some more carrots and lettuce.   Then I wait awhile ... maybe plant the things I have started inside, but for direct planting I'll wait until mid-May for beans, squash, and cucumbers.  

**

Oof, was packing up last night making plans to go camp, but I woke up this morning and am not feeling up to it.  I don't want a shitty camping trip, that's less than zero fun.  And the destination is three hours away, so definitely not something I want to do as a day trip.  Well, maybe I'll find someplace else to go closer for now.  that destination is still #1 on my list, just maybe not right now.   Now that I better understand my foot issues, I want to see how far I can push without being immobilized.  

Yeah, I like that plan.  The problem is that on a weekend it feels like just one more errand, so I need to rearrange my thinking about that.  Maybe try to do my errands and chores on the weekdays and take weekends for more leisure?  Yeah, I dunno.   

**

Proud of myself - my food spending is low, and I ate all my leftovers this week.  Finished up black bean tacos for lunch, and I just cooked salmon and fava pesto for dinner and will have for lunch tomorrow.  Pulled out the barley and red lentils to make Jacob's stew tomorrow for dinner.  And then I'll make tofu and squash, need to get the tofu in the freezer, and it's my penultimate squash ... nearing the end of a very happy era of eating regular winter squash that is SO tasty.  Then ... not sure what.  Oh, maybe tuna with peas - I have some green onions to use up that I like with that.  Maybe minestrone and use up some frozen and canned vegetables?  I just haven't really been feeling minestrone.  I have been craving lentil shepherds pie but I kind of want to wait until my Costco run to see if there are organic potatoes for a good price.  I don't generally eat a lot of potatoes these days so it's always a fun challenge to find more things to eat with potatoes before they turn bad.  Not going on the Costco run until I'm out of onions, but that's soon-ish.  Probably some more beans and grains something something.  Maybe black lentils and black barley?  Oh, I have a sweet potato I need to use up ... maybe a black bean sweet potato chili?  That I could put into the crockpot on a busy day?  Hmm ... it is warm now so hard to think about chili, but it's going to cool off again soon.  Eyeing the quinoa and olives for something on warm days, but that's in the future for summer foods.  Oh, plot twist ... maybe I'll use that squash and tofu to make a curry with greens and maybe garbanzos too.  Or maybe next weekend with the last squash.  

Last night I was watching the TV show High Potential, which, I'll be honest, I'm not crazy about.  I LOOOOVE the French version, so this feels like a cheap knockoff.  THOUGH I do like the lead actors, so I don't dish it.  But last night it got me in the feels when the daughter, Ava, went to her mother's coworker, Daphne, to talk about how to navigate the world as a Black woman.  Something about that I found so touching, maybe the chosen family and support aspect.  I like that there's no tension between the characters (usually), they just like and respect each other.  and it's very diverse - Latino, Black, Turkish, whatever Kaitlin Olsen is.   Steve Howey can go away though.  

**

Kind of proud of myself for will power at the office.  I got super hungry mid-morning and remembered I had nuts and dried fruit in my backpack, so I ate that.  Skipped lunch and then stopped at a good bakery on the way home by bike, but nothing they had really spoke to me so I walked out empty-handed, then came home and ate the leftover salmon and fava pesto, and soon I'll make barley lentil stew for dinner.  I like when my food budget is underspent, let's me get some stock up things at Costco (like salmon, as I cooked the last of it).  

Oof, I'm glad I didn't go out camping because I am definitely under the weather.  Yikes.  I feel so crappy.  I did get the lentil barley soup going but now I have to sit down because yuck.  The dog is following me everywhere, too closely, hopefully that's not a sign of something bad.  

Took my blood pressure because I thought maybe the stress was increasing it, but the reading was 106 over 62.  Took it several more times and the highest was 114 over 73, so definitely not high blood pressure.  I have had serious low blood pressure when sick, I remember that with COVID, the doctor threatening to hook me to an IV if I wouldn't drink hydration salts.  

So i should drink some tea and hope to feel better soon.  I will be so bummed if my weekend is burned on feeling like crap. 

The other thing I did before collapsing was clean out my freezer drawer.  It was dirty with some spills (peanut husks, strawberry juice), so I just did it after it bothered me a bit.  I don't expect to live in a sterile environment, but taking on these tasks one by one is reasonable and makes me happier.  I'd previously wiped down my fridge shelves so that also doesn't bother me now.  

The only surprising thing I found in the freezer that I'd forgotten about was a bag of frozen turkey meat.  I had ambitiously cooked a turkey from a free group and made meals to share in the community refrigerator with the meat.  But factory farmed met is really disgusting to me and I don't know that I can do it again.  Maybe.  We'll see.  I haven't been putting much into the community fridge lately.   

**

OK, it's Saturday and I feel crappy.  Everything hurts and my eyes are really uncomfortable.  I'm wondering if this is allergies, which now would be tree pollen.  I always think of allergies as just sneezing, but maybe it's this.  I did feel worse after bicycling.  I wonder if I should be masking as I bike?  

I got pulled into retirement Youtube and damn it seems like I should retire sooner than later.  and maybe I will.  Even that would be 25 months away, so i still have a lot to get through.  

It rained last night so maybe the air is cleaner now.  So it is reported.  Maybe I can drag myself to a short walk that I've been wanting to do and a couple of errands, nothing too crazy.   

Speaking of crazy, that's how the dog is making me.  She's wanting something from me that I am not giving.  This morning she woke me up whining then just got into bed with me and anytime I'd stop petting her she'd start whining again.  She can be clingy but this is next level.   She really wants me to go outside with her so I'll do that at least.  She'll get her walk tomorrow.  

My goal is to see what I can do about walking and if I can avoid midfoot arthritis surgery.  The more weight I lose, the less pressure there is on my feet, and the less inflammation, the less arthritis pain.  (Making green tea right now, focused on reducing inflammation.)  I know for sure that walking up and down stairs for work has made walking extremely painful, so how about a slow and steady mostly flat build up, and less pain can be a motivation for more weight loss?   

Focusing back to food, I need to figure out how to use a lot of frozen shredded zucchini.  I'd frozen bags of it to use in muffins throughout the year, but I'm actually not eating as many muffins as I would have expected to.  I wonder about maybe eating them for breakfast; they're generally whole fruit or vegetable sweetened, and I can add nuts and seeds for increased protein, and of course they're whole grain so even more fiber.  That would be a nice grab and go breakfast and better to get vegetables with breakfast rather than the cheese toast I have often.  But regardless of my muffin plans, I still need to figure out using the rest of the shredded zucchini.  Maybe I could put it in the lentil shepherds pie I'm hoping to make soon, and more casseroles like that.  That could be a good plan, because I don't think it's great for sauteeing or starring in a dish once it's been frozen like it is when fresh.  I'm also focused on eating down the turnip greens I froze ...  and I do think that tomorrow will be some kind of bowl experiment.  Possibly a grain (I've got heaps - brown rice, quinoa, bulgur, barley, black barley, millet, ...), but definitely black lentils and sauteed turnip greens and I think maybe roasted sweet potato, and some shredded raw carrots and sunflower seeds and maybe a tahini lemon dressing.  That sounds good to me.  I think I need to get more creative using what I have.  There's also fava greens from the garden from some more raw greens.  I saw this image on Facebook last night and it kind of inspires me. 

  

 My neighbors are having a potluck next Sunday, and there's the protest on Saturday.  That's a lot in a weekend.  I need to be feeling better.  

OK, plan for today.  I need to finish this green tea, get dressed, give the dog a tasty treat as I walk out the door, go to the little walk I've been wanting to do, stop at the grocery store, do some cooking, clean the house, read.