labor

 Oof, I spent a considerable amount of time out in the sunshine, and I'm whupped.  Got most of my yard tasks finished that are on my list.  All the native plants are in the ground, which was the main thing.  And also weeded (though I don't have to weed much because of all the mulch), moved mulch, trimmed plants back, etc. etc.  I'll be sore tomorrow for sure, and i'll survive.  Good tired.  So, the indoor things mostly didn't get done, but there's still tomorrow.  Well, a bit less of a tomorrow.  God I hate changing the clocks and having to adjust.  

A dear friend in St. Louis insists that's an excellent retirement area for me.  I will say that the cost of living and housing prices look great to me, and I will definitely go check it out.  It looks like a fun, cool place to be.  But what gives me pause is that all the houses I'm looking at - which are mostly nicer than the house I'm in now - are on very small lots, built very close to each other, and there are no attached garages.  The average lot size seems to be about 3,000 sq ft, and ... I have triple that size now, and I use it all.  And I very much love having a garage - for car, bike, projects, etc.  So, I definitely need to think about what I really want.  And go visit.  but plane fares are high.  

And now I'm going to bitch about something I have absolutely no right to bitch about.  it looks like my parents gave their house to my youngest sibling and he's delinquent on taxes which tells me he didn't take out a loan, and I know he's not in any high-paying profession (he literally worked in a salt mine last I knew; his criminal history blocked other paths).  It's a nice house that they built, like almost 3000 square feet, on 40 acres.  Absolutely no way could he and his wife (a preschool teacher) afford it.

Obviously I have no entitlement to any inheritance, but that's still a little wild to me.  He's always been a bit of a fuck-up, but we all have been.  I'd love somebody to give me a nice house.  My parents never helped me financially once I left home at 17.  Hell, if somebody just sent me a check to help pay down my house, I'd be happy, I don't need to inherit a house though I wouldn't complain about that either (though of course I don't want to live where they lived - I found it a not pleasant place, between the ticks and the cold winter wind).  I don't know what is usually done; I know with one cousin who took over the family''s farm that there was a very clear financial plan for him to buy the business and farm and house, that nothing was just given to him (even though the others wanted nothing to do with the farm - one married an architect out of state, another was a dentist, another was a fuck-up who may have wanted to farm but couldn't keep shit together).  I just assumed that usually houses are sold now to divide up inheritance among multiple children.  But again, I don't expect anything.  Secret to happiness, lowering expectations.  I'm not really an entitled person at least where family is concerned.  I bonded with an uncle about this once - he was always the outcast.  I don't really remember how we met up somewhere away from everyone else, in California somehow, but we got each other.  We didn't even have to talk about it much, just recognized it.  He was also not the favored child.  He was trapped for decades though, and when he finally broke free of family ties, he was so much happier and really pleasant to spend time with, not at all the grumpy man I'd known all my life.  Some of us just aren't fit for family life. 

Anyway, I have to let this go.  Sure, it would be nice to have financial support, but I've done ok totally on my own (with some help from friends, usually in the form of a couch to surf).