downwards

I think my fat is just flowing downwards.

My bra is getting too small - I'm on the smallest row of hooks now, having moved down a couple.  My blouses are exposing too much, as the size of my torso drops girth.  

But my pants?  Two days in a row, they've been tight.  Almost too tight for me to want to wear.  Not uncomfortable, but too skinny pants like.  

Maybe it's just the dryer after six months of always drying outside, but it's striking me as very strange indeed.  

The Fitbit's benefit are encouraging more activity.  I'm only a few days in and I always tire of new things, but it is getting me moving more. 

And I'm realizing that the least healthy thing in my life is my work.  When I go to work, my heart rate elevates.  No activity, but stress response.  I sit still far too much.  When I am home on a weekend, I easily walk 9,000 steps or more, just living. But workdays are tough.  Today I didn't even hit 6,000.  I did get a nice bike ride midday to a meeting, with some good vigorous heart activity, but I rarely get to do that.  

So far.

Next spring, I'm really wanting to push myself to bike further and to be that weirdo at the meeting who shows up with her helmet.  I'll get a new bike if needed.  I've already been gearing up, though I need much better lights.  Maybe even one of those helmets lights.  Today I was coming home at like 3:30 pm and it was already more dusk than I like to ride in.  I don't want barriers to me biking.  I lived in this town with only a bike for years.  Granted, that was over three decades ago and the years have not been kind to me, but I can bike more.  Now the benefit is better bike paths, more protected, and I have the money for good gear.  Back then I was riding an old bike my aunt had given me (how did I even get it here?  Maybe on Greyhound I vaguely remember), and it turns out that the metal was cracked significantly.  Surprised it never gave way on me.  I rode that thing all over town all the time.  My former professor whom I had the massive crush on and who posted photos of us together at Thanksgiving, she did the same.  She had a car, but she was always biking.  She still does.  We had this good life here when we were young on bikes, and I still like it. 

I like it in the way of Sharon on Ted Lasso, NOT in any kind of race or distance.  i like it practical.  

And we have a few more days of dry forecast (it's cold AF, but at least it's not rainy) before the rains come back in force for months and we may not have many breaks.  So I want to do some more biking.

I've worked more than 12 hours the past two days, and while I'm tired I'm also invigorated because I got through some hard things.  I have more hard things ahead, but if I keep pushing, then maybe I won't have to work all the next two weekends.  That would be awesome.  I love weekends off.  

My feet haven't hurt for a few days, which is worth noticing.  Why?  I do not know.  I got new socks, warmer socks.  The cold definitely doesn't help them.  Whatever makes my feet not hurt, I want more of that.

Also missing is the brain fog, and that I think is about the drastic sugar reduction.  I'm really looking forward to the continuous glucose monitor trial to see my glucose spikes to better understand them.  

I'm still crotchety as fuck, but that's the stress of work and pain of age and all that.  My hands also don't hurt right now, but they've been hurting pretty bad for awhile so that's a brief break is all.