decisions

 First decision: do I call in sick to work today?  I have a lot to do at home.  I am also not feeling great, but I still have things to do, and if I go to work all day I won't have the energy when I get home (plus not light).  I think I will.  

Second, and much bigger decision:  I got a lowball offer on my house, about 20% less than asking.  It's a bit insulting, frankly, but I need to let that go.  There are no other offers on the table or even interest shown.  If I take this offer, I could get the fuck out of here.  No more hurricanes, no more repairs on this needy house.

But also, no job and no home.  My friend has said I can live with her rent-free indefinitely, and she's looking forward to us arriving.  We have lived together before, which is how we met.  I could kick back and take some time off while I look for a job, and even if I sell my house for less than I want to it's still a chunk to put into a down payment when a job is acquire.  (I would love to rent, but it's not really feasible with the hound, as I need a very secure yard and prefer a dog door to give her freedom especially if I work long hours.)  

And also, while many things about my current job are despicable and I really need to get out, and I am very concerned about climate change hitting this area very hard, my life here is really good.  And this house gives me a quality of life.  From all the gardening and fresh food to a rental unit for sense of community and pal for the hound, this house gives me a lot.  It always has.  Do I want to throw that all away without any profit on the house sale?  It's a tough call for me, honestly.  But also I do like the idea of not having to spruce it up any more to entice a buyer. 

I think what I'll do is have the realtor do her thing.  See if she can negotiate up.  If we can get in the middle, proceed.  Maybe the inspection reveals things that throw a wrench into the deal, but at least then I'll have the information.  

I'm not packing until it's a done deal, past inspection and appraisal.  I erred when I first decided to list and a friend took away things I wouldn't need if I leave, but it's not certain I'll leave.  I have accumulated a lot of things that hold high value to me and cost to replace but for which I will not get a lot of money, so I'm screwed if I purge everything and then a still here.  This is everything from hurricane to canning to gardening supplies to tools.  It's a lot.  It will be a huge hassle to get rid of everything in a rush.  

I feel torn about leaving.  I love New Orleans.  I just hate hurricane season and violent crime and corruption and incompetence and flakiness and all the things that make life hard here.   

Ultimately it hinges on this: my life here is good.  If I leave will it be even better?  Will I get a better job?  Will I find a housing opportunity I can afford?  How important is it to be close to soul friends (so many of whom have left New Orleans)?  I have always hopped into better things, but as I age I know that can change, so I do feel some trepidation.  I don't want to miss peak earning time, and recession and job losses are coming if not already here.  If i stay right where I am, I'm on target for retirement savings and those things.  I just cannot stay at my job, and there's no guarantee of something better.  Here or there.