micromanagement sucks

 Yesterday, a supervisor berated everyone for not being at their desks 15 minutes before EOB on a Friday.  I agree that wasn't a good look, but the way it exploded is ridiculous.  The micromanagement is extreme.

So today, nobody was early to work, and they usually are.  And neither that supervisor nor her superiors were at work on time.  They were 30 minutes to an hour and a half late.  

So I called her out.  She said, "My issue was that they didn't tell me that they were leaving early on Friday." "And did you tell them that you would be late today?  Because communication is a two-way street."  

She was unhappy with me.  Several people are.  Fuck that, who cares? Not me.

This is the weirdest workplace.  Nobody will communicate anything because information is power and they don't want to share.  It's so weird.

And the middle managers micromanage to give value to themselves.  They want everyone in their seats at specific times.  They don't understand quality work so they want seat time.  They are opposed to work from home because it exposes their lack of value.

I don't think I can last another year and a half.  Imma need to start looking for something remote as soon as I can.  I read a great article recently about how people who are accomplished and successful at work want remote work because they can excel anymore, and the micromanaging middle managers are the ones who do not want it because it exposes how unimportant they are.  

Nobody is micromanaging me right now, but they'll try to someday.  And I will chafe and buck.  Because fuck that.

frugality fail

 Seeing that my budget for "miscellaneous" was a bit underspent this year, and that I did start working half a year earlier than I had planned to AND successfully fought for a hefty raise for myself,* I'm apparently all in.

Basket for bicycle?  Bought.

Lids for Oui jars for canning jam?  Got 'em.  (And I'm just waiting on you, loquats)

Sodastream so I never have to go to that horrible metal recycling place again? Clicked.

Join plant group?  Yup.

That sweet solar cooker I've been eyeing for over three months now?  In the queue. 

For me, this is an orgy of spending. The most indulgent I've been in ages.  

And the rest of my "excess" will go to tornado recovery, because I am really feeling for the people going through this devastation.  

My tenant mentions money, and I know that she stays in the little apartment because it's inexpensive, and she says she just can't get ahead financially ... but does she not know that all the things she orders add up?  She seems to be getting packages at least three times every week.  So many that I'm tired of carrying them in for her.   I would like to offer her budget advice, but nobody wants that unsolicited.  But seriously, cutting discretionary spending is a major key to financial success.  I am frugal AF because it works.  

But even I get indulgent sometimes.  Though as I look at this list, it's still about being frugal - about bicycling more, about making my own jam, about not using my energy hog oven, about connecting with people to give me free plants, about not buying carbonated water in cans.  

 I'm very lucky in many ways, like having the frugality so deeply embedded in me.  It makes much of my life possible.

And once my new budget cycle hits, I'll be all in again.  Making a retirement possible someday. 

*Though I'm still not making bank, by a longshot. 

prepare

 One of the worst things for me with Ida was how ill-prepared I was.  I still had a hatchet to get out the attic if I had to, but because I had just moved back to town I didn't have a lot of other things that would have made things easier.  

I'm remedying that.  It's expensive, but it is what it is.  Fan. Flashlights. Camp stoves with fuel (I now have two backups because I need caffeine).  Solar generator.

And now I'm eyeing this solar cookstove, with the secondary purpose of using it instead of my oven (or even stovetop) during our long very hot summers.  Now that I see I can bake bread in it, I'm sold.  I baked sourdough for the first time since my return yesterday because it was finally cool enough to heat up the kitchen with the oven.  

The last big thing I think I want to figure out is refrigeration.  I have a large and small cooler, and I could keep the large cooler with ice as a deep freeze, just pulling things out to move to small cooler and use once a day or so to conserve ice.  But alternatively, I've been eyeing the cooler units that refrigerate - most often used in cars but could be great with my little generator and keep things cooler at safe range.  Losing a refrigerator/freezer full of food is a big expense.  Though, I know this and plan accordingly, not keeping a lot of high value items during hurricane season.  I can food instead of freeze it.  I cook things up once a hurricane hits the gulf with a trajectory in my direction.  One of those coolers would have been a lifesaver on my 4,500 journey earlier this year though and I wish I'd have known of them then.

There are a lot of things to do at that stage to prepare and it gets a little frantic.  I'm adding "make ghee" to my list, as on-sale butter is always in my freezer but ghee is shelf stable.  

OK, I'm feeling a little panic again so I'll stop.  But I am excited about this solar cooker possibility for prepping but also eating in summer.

oasis

 I went out to see a lady who sells plants.  Her real focus is on butterflies, and she had quite a few natives that I got.  We chatted a bit and I picked her brain.  I mentioned a black swallowtail and she said, "You have caterpillars?" and I said "Oh so many" not realizing she meant specifically that.  I knew I'd seen something in that family that wasn't a giant swallowtail, but I wasn't certain.  She let me know that now is not the season.

And then today I was putzing around the backyard and saw the cutest little spice bush swallowtail caterpillar nestled in a camphor leaf.

Of course I didn't know that was a camphor leaf or what kind of caterpillar it is.  Now that I know it's camphor, I probably need to remove it as it's in a very bad spot for that.  I'm thinking of getting a spice bush in its place because I HAVE TO FEED ALL THE CATERPILLARS IN THE WORLD.  Seriously, soon as butterfly comes flying around my house, I go out and get whatever it wants to eat.  I'm crazy.  They will eat me out of house and home.  I see the milkweed finally coming back and then I see a monarch.  Greedy bastards. 

And as I said I have so many caterpillars, she said, "Of course you do, because you have an oasis.  Everyone else probably has mono lawn but you let wild things live."   

And I want a spice bush.  It's a cool plant.  All these things I get are cool.  But here's my big fear - I sell my house in a year and a half and the buyers rip all this native goodness out to put in some artificial turf or something, and what a waste - for me, of spending hundreds of dollars, and also of the plants.  So I could try to keep this badly placed weed camphor small with regular pruning, and that will solve the problem of feeding these caterpillars.  But I'd rather have a spice plant.  So, yeah.  And do I really need that chickasaw plum or two?  Love the idea of the thicket, and of all the tree goodness.  I already put in a mulberry.  Why am I doing all these things? I'm obsessed with native plants and ecosystems.  

And can you believe that I have green beans coming in right now?  Mid December!  They're cute AF.  They're buried under cucuzza squash I thought would be long frozen by now, but now I want to see those also produce.  There's a produce swap next week and how fun would it be to take a bunch of stuff like squash and beans.  Such. Fun.  

My dog removed my papaya trees.  They are so sickly (no idea why all that I get from my friend suck when hers do so well) so I tried fish emulsion and she dug that right up.  I saved one tree and put it back in, but the others was long gone.  

It was supposed to rain today, heavy.  But it didn't and we have sun for the week.  I hate watering and I will be so happy when everything is established already. 

what I haven't been feeling

 I left my last job and traveled thousands of miles to get back to New Orleans because (as a final straw) my heart started to fritz.  Tachycardia and arrhythmias can be scary AF and I wasn't about orphaning the crazy pants dog.  

Know what hasn't happened once since I've been back?  That.  Zero heart issues.  Sometimes I push myself a little hard physically and i can feel that, but nothing like before.  And also none of the anxiety issues.  The sleeplessness now seems only to be about heat so I need to figure out better cooling options. 

Leaving was hard.  I mean, it was physically very challenging to do all that I did in a pandemic.  I recognize how much support I had from my wonderful neighbors and some work colleagues who loved on Ziggy and a neighbor from a former town who really showed up for me.  But it was still hard.  And it was also hard to leave because I loved 80% of my job - I just could not continue to be on 24/7 call and to have a gaslighting asshole boss who would much rather gossip and sabotage than do anything of any real value.  Not only did I love it but it paid very well and I could retire if I'd stuck with it another five years.

Of course I would be dead in five years. 

And so I left, and here I am.  

And you know, it's fun.  I keep learning new things.  How did I not know before what a giant swallowtail caterpillar looks like?  I bought about another dozen native plants today that I'll cram into my yard that I'm still fighting oxalis and mulching.  And so many other things to do. Don't want to dwell on that because it's overwhelming.

It's also hard.  Ida may have broken me, the realization of climate change flooding over me - literally.  

But my heart is very glad that I left. 

resolve: vegetables

 The garden is finally going and it puts some pressure on me to consume more vegetables (and find people to share the bounty with).  Also the farmers market and the local grocery store sales add pressure as welll.  So yesterday I made a pot of mizuna, potatoes, and black beans that was quite tasty and I'll eat for lunch a few days.  This morning I've cooked up sweet potatoes with a bit of sausage and an egg.  This evening I will make a simmered kabocha squash and/or sauteed mirlitons.  I need to deal with a bounty of daikon radish and some thinned beet greens (with itty bitty beets).  My mache is going to town and I need to put it to good use.  The mizuna and kale keep on rolling back in a celebration of goodness, though they also keep trying to flower likely due to the warm weather.  In the front yard I have cucuzzi squash and green beans that I put in too late, not expecting anything but soil building and coverage until planting spring okra and sweet potatoes, but the squash is blooming like crazy and I think I'm seeing some fruits starting, and the beans are also flowering and I saw the first baby bean yesterday.  

I've leaned too heavily on prepared foods since I've been back, and it's time to move back to the vegetables side of life. 

what a good day

 I took my truck to the shop to get an oil change.  Very overdue but when I picked it up they said it looked fine.  YAAAAAAYYYY. I want my 20 year old pickup to live forever. 

From there I biked to work for the first time, and my head is in the game.  I used to bike to work here and it was a longer and more dangerous route.  This route isn't bad.  But MAN I'm out of biking shape.  My butt hurts, my thighs hurt, my knees hurt, I'm sweaty and winded and feels like I'm barely moving forward (in part because I'm used to driving speed).  I'll get some travel deodorant to leave at work but I want this to be the new normal.  Not next week because it's thunderstorms every day, but when good weather again I want to slowly ramp up to doing this more.  Save wear and tear on truck, get good exercise, be outside - it's a win-win.  And I know all my coworkers will think I'm nuts and I'm perfectly fine with that.  Right now I'm sort of threatening to some people because I'm so competent and confident, so if they can just pigeonhole me as that quirky white lady, it'll be good.  

And now I've gotten a rug for free.  It's smaller than I wanted and needs cleaning, but the colors are good for the house and again, free.  I recently bought a small rug cleaner on sale, which should do the trick.  I took the dog to pick it up and then we were near work so we went for a walk; a coworker was there waiting for someone to bring his keys which he locked inside his truck, and Ziggy made a new friend.  She can be so charming when she wants to be.  My roofing salesman really wants to meet her.  

 I have to gear myself up for a power yardwork weekend.  I have to get things done.  

And I have to gear myself up for my dissertation because my coworkers WILL NOT LET UP.  I have three coworkers with doctoral degrees, and two of them are zeroed in on me finishing.  One today cornered me and was like YOU NEED A PLAN WHAT IS YOUR STEP RIGHT NOW and YOU NEED TO START COMING TO THE OFFICE AND 6 AM AND LEAVE AT 8 PM AND WORK ON YOUR DISSERTATION WHEN YOU'RE NOT ON THE JOB.  It's adorable.  Honestly I feel so supported and seen by their genuine interest in getting me across the finish line.  I promised after this weekend I'd be back on target.  I need to follow up with a committee member who is dragging his feet now in responding.  He's retired and on a different timeline.  My coworker said "Get someone new then!" and that may be an option.  He's just really smart and old school which is how I was trained in methods so I thought we'd be a good match.

 ***

I'm resolving again to buckle down and go into frugality mode.  I already blew half my food budget for the month on a Costco run then local-ish cornmeal and tasty pizza at a lovely bakery on the other side of town where I happened to be on the day they make pizza.  The pizza was larger than I expected for the price and has been good for several meals.  I cancelled my plans for another grocery trip today, realizing that what's in my cupboards, refrigerator, and garden is likely more than enough to eat for awhile.  I'm canning garbanzos and white beans right now, and if I need bread then I'll bake bread (though I have to buy bread pans first so that's annoying).  Canning beans may seem silly when canned beans are perfectly cheap, but I got into the habit up north where shipping added a lot to the price of heavy food items.  Plus I like them in jars without salt; less waste and more control.  

And if I keep reminding myself I may be leaving as soon as a year and a half from now, I don't need to buy new things.  It's not worth investing in an expensive kitchen storage armoire that is exactly what I want when I will sell it for a fraction of that soon.  All my disposable income to decorate is going to the $7,000 rotted joist repairs.  Ugh.  Oh, actually more like $10,700, including the flat roof.  

***

I do love my backyard here, and so does the dog.  We like hanging out back there, puttering around.  So much nature.  Really looking forward to a good loquat harvest.  And I'm already looking forward to summer, with sweet potatoes, okra, and roselle hibiscus taking over.  Sprawling looming summer.  Love it.  Enjoying "winter" weather now, though it's getting up to almost 80 today which is way too fucking hot for December.  I need to stop buying plants.  I'll put in the calamondin in the front yard where I found a spot (to keep it away from the backyard citrus canker infestation) and the mulberry will go in the back, but even when I remove those canker-ridden citrus trees I need to not replace them because I'm not going to be here long enough to enjoy them.  And I dropped some cash on native plants though not excessively, and now I need to let them settle in and see what thrives.  I think the Missouri ironweed has already died perhaps for lack of water.  I watered it some, but if something is going to be fragile and fussy, then my yard is not the place for it.  I moved things around to get them in better position, expecting the firebush and beauty berry to grow large.  I got quite a bit done yesterday in the front yard and I think I need like another three hours and I'll be in pretty good shape.  Need to thin and transplant vegetable beds (and figure out how to better grow starts next year), plant a couple trees, dig up more oxalis and bidens alba, and then lay down cardboard/newspaper as weed barrier and pine straw.  We'll see how it works.  I know I'll still have to weed, but I'm good at staying on top of things like that so long as it's not a huge looming project, like what it's been.  It was SO overgrown it was daunting, and here I am seven months later and mostly on top of it.  So much shit to dig out that was hard, from giant cane reed to bamboo to elephant ears to bananas to ginger.  So many noxious weeds to battle.  Just so much work it's been.  My hope is that these cute native plants will dig in this winter and in spring and summer they will grow and spread and fill in the yard.  I can see what works and what doesn't and move and fill in.  I still have the curb strip to deal with but it's just going to wait for now.  It's hard to be motivated when my driveway is still so fucked up and just a pile of rubble.  I'll get to it.  But not today.