Friend's fraud got interrupted in time. She got the check from her retirement benefits and we will work together on a safer place for funds to be.
It's still such a weird scam and I worry about another shoe dropping. We wiped her computer, changed all passwords, but is she safe?
God, I hope so.
I'll remind her to never trust anyone who calls her since they have her number as an easy mark.
Friend is helping me replace my utility room countertop and sink. The counter had been poorly installed and there was mold and delamination, and the sink is very stained. Since I had to replace the counter, why not spend $84 on a new sink as well?
And I let Friend take lead because they're all her tools and because she works in a home improvement store, and we both believe she knows these renovation things better than me.
But what we forget over and over is how long it takes her to do things. I'm much more a jump in person. I carefully read the instructions and if any questions I find a video. And then I start and power through.
She argues with the directions. So, I drew a template for the sink cutout on the counter, but she thought it was too big so instead measured a half inch less in each direction and cut that out. Instead of the maybe 20 minutes to cut it out, we spent more like three because it is not easy to just shave off more. Why did we not just follow the manufacturer's directions? I do not know. I would like to say I have learned, but I haven't - I'll still let her do things like that in the future.
Then there is the issue of the final step. On this one, we followed directions and she was sure that it was a simple final clip in of the sink. IT IS NOT SIMPLE. It is super difficult because the holes to insert the screws into ARE NOT THREADED (why the fuck??) and it extremely hard to reach the areas because of build-up (and it's at a good height, I'm no reducing), and the piece itself is very hard to manage. I hate this manufacturer so much. And had I been on my own, I would have played putting those parts in before caulking the sink down, because I always do things like that. I trusted the characterization of an easy clip-in.
So none of this is to disparage friend - she's being cautious and thorough and that's her way. I just need to let my way trump a bit more because I've learned a lot myself the past 30 years of home repairs.
And what a good friend she is to spend her day off on this project. She spent hours filing down the counter edge where it meets a bowed-out wall. I'm not sure those hours made a difference but she is, so that's great.
I had to spend those hours meeting with a landscape designer, who stayed twice as long as expected, and didn't really get me what I want. He's extremely focused on trees, which of course makes sense. But that's not how I reconfigure yards and so that's hard on me. He's focused on very big trees which is even harder because TBH I don't understand big trees near houses. He's concerned about carbon and I really appreciate all that. I do. But the other issue is that he keeps suggesting trees that aren't native here; he alludes to their specific ecological utility (such as super important for pollinators), but ... I don't want to invest in an 80' non-native tree. None of the trees excite me. A lot of native shrubs excite me, but he was listing other things. HE's coming to me with his vision and I get that and I want his vision and expertise, but I also have my vision and that's what we're going to do.
And rather than hearing what I say I want, he focuses on telling me about other things. Look that's great, I want to learn more things. Sure, let's put in a honeyberry. But if I have mentioned raspberries 20 times and how much space I want to dedicate to them because they are that important to me, let's maybe focus on that.
He's also really negative about the site, referring to it as a swamp. Honey, I've lived in a swamp and this isn't that. Our water table is high here and soil quite clay, but this was an orchard before it was developed and I have so many plum and apple and pear and grapes, so mabye it's not that bad, eh? I know that he's managing my expectations of what will grow, but I already get that.
Anyway, mostly I was annoyed that he stayed SO long, and then between both those things I had to cancel something I'd really wanted to do with neighbors which was pretty important TBH. And I still dont have a functioning sink. (And don't want it hooked up until everything is connected and I caulk the fuck out of everything.
Anyway, I'm late to work and kind of dreading being there today mostly because I didn't get any downtime this weekend with all the running about and such, but I have to suck it up. Maybe this is all just a good cautionary tale about how long things take.
New washer and dryer arrived today, and I've run one load. It's everything I ever dreamed of. Clothes clean and dry. It's fantastic.
I keep looking out across my yard now that the massive fig tree is gone and I am so happy I paid a man $240 to do that removal.
A man offered free grapes and I hopped into my new car to drive across town because I wanted to try the different varieties. (Turns out that the grapes that I already have are the best I've tasted.) I didn't have to worry about my car not working or running out of gas. I do need an oil change soon, and I can afford that.
I can eat whatever I want, wherever I want. I may not want to cook lately, but I'm very food secure.
Today a man with a chainsaw came and took away my fig tree. It so opens up my yard, it's fantastic. Also it was sad because it was a vibrant gorgeous tree. It was just at my backdoor blocking me in, and I'm allergic to nothing more than figs. He was such a lovely man, and so good with my dog. I hope I find more things for him to do because he was just great all around.
That sparked my memory that I need to reach out to the designer who'd recommended him, and so we have a meeting this week where he'll start design. We will be in tension, but hopefully we will work it out and it will be good.
Friend came over and we removed the mudroom sink and counter and started replacement. We'll hopefully finish that tomorrow, I need to get some things like a hole saw.
And tomorrow I will take delivery of a new washer and dryer, a stacking set. Fancier machines than ever I imagined owning, but no regrets. I will wash so much laundry, just because I can.
Such is the excitement of life.
I"m told that my horrible teammate, the one who drags us all down, might be terminated. I don't know the actual chances, but I'm a bit annoyed that the top person has decided that now is the time to consider that. Not the past four years in which she has made people miserable - people in my position have threatened to quit if having to work with her. She's horrible. And while I do not in any way delight in her potentially losing her livelihood, all the times she has lied and sabotaged do not leave me any feelings but relief. But I do not understand why the buck had stop with me. Could she not have been moved elsewhere? Why stick with me? I'm unsure, but I'm done. I'm belligerently done. I'm 11 pm emails to whoever will listen done. So. Done.
And I do not want to lose my job over it or because of my temper, so I need to be calm - but I also need to be firm because clearly nobody is looking out for me. They have conversations and make decisions without any input from me. I have to speak up more.
***
And now it's Saturday morning and my weekend lays ahead gloriously.
I keep thinking of the man with the chainsaw and how much he brought to me in such a short time. He was SO good with my dog. When I showed him around to the tree I said, "The dog will likely panic and I may need to take her away. She's not crazy about strangers with machines in her space." "Oh, that makes sense. Would it help if she met me?" I ran so quick to close up the gates to let her out and she liked him so much. I let them say goodbye as well when he was done, asking if that was ok, and he said much more than ok. They had instantly clicked, and she still pulled some asshole moves and was zoomyig around but mostly just wanted to be pet by him and he wanted the same. I told of how small her life is because of her issues and how important this yard is for us. He told me of dry farming initiatives which have me very interested on my small scale and of botanical education that somehow I've never heard of which is weird because it seems perfect for me. We talked about dismantling food injustice at our individual level, including the little free refrigerator nearby. He talked to me of pruning and various such things, and he did such a great job taking away the tree and not leaving a mess. What an unexpectedly pleasurable interaction.
I'm kind of worked up about food again, and I've been feeling fortunate so I bought a bunch of groceries for the community refrigerator, and everything was gone so fast. I'm not sure the model - I think the expectation is more of individual servings of ready-made food, but there are other needs. I bought eggs and tuna and tortillas and freezer meals and chili and milk and fruit. Within hours, everything was gone except the pasta. It's weird to buy fruit when so much is all around us right now, but not everyone wants to deal with wormy apples and bruised pears, and there was a good sale on grapes and bananas.
I'm probably not going to be able to buy bags of groceries like that all the time, but I can definitely keep an eye out for sales and good deals. LIke when cheese was $1.49 a block, $4 discount. I have the on-line deals and the app, and sometimes there are really good deals I can buy lots more of. I also bought bread and today I'll put out sandwiches with almost-expired peanut butter and jam made from my backyard plums. These gestures seem small because I want to battle injustice at the large level, but sometimes people are just hungry and need a PB&J. Usually I bake my own bread and I got a bunch of rye flour for free when a neighbor went gluten-free, but TBH it's not always great for sandwiches and I hate cutting it. So a loaf of bread on sale it will be. I need to get the printer working that I got for free so that I can print out labels of prepared food I put in there. I want to make lentil shepherd's pie this weekend and that should be good to share.
And so what I realize in the past few days is that there is more for me here than I give credit for. There's much I can do with plants and food - so many opportunities of things to do in retirement. And I love my house and its central location. I feel so lucky to be able to have it, and I could walk or bicycle to nearly everything I need. Plus the activist neighbors are great to collaborate with (we are to make cider tomorrow). And I have space to take people in if they need healthcare not available to them in their home states, or seeking asylum, or anything like that. Once I no longer have my dog, I could potentially foster animals (though I do not want to commit to having another dog).
Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad place to retire.
But first I must accrue significant savings and pay off the house. I don't know exactly how I will do that as fast as I had hoped (as I would have been able to with the house that I recently left behind, which cost so much less and had rental income).
First is to continue these repairs and upgrades that I can enjoy forever. I can estimate costs but there are a lot of moving targets still. Hopefully finish up mudroom this weekend and start really turning my attention to kitchen. And yard. More fencing. Then bathroom. And then I should be mostly done except for tinkering like replacing ugly light fixtures and such, and repairs as they come up. Hopefully by this time next year I'll be done with the big stuff, and I will have had a raise at work and be better settled into my spending habits. Then I can really project out how soon I can retire.
Yesterday I gave away a washing machine though my Buy Nothing group, and the fellows who came to pick it up were in a very old van and they had not bathed in so long it hurt my nose to stand near them. One was missing a hand, both were elderly, so a lot of the lifting fell on me. It used my last spoon of the day, but it's ok.
And I was jolted to the realization that I do not want to age like them. I like having car doors function properly, I like my daily showers, and to be honest I like being able to buy the fancy washer and dryer so that I can give away the old ones that still work just fine (and are better than theirs with the heavy leaking from rusted out sections).
I guess I've always thought of myself as a crunchy granola cheapo, who wants to reuse everything and is moving away from this capitalist nightmare. I love Buy Nothing groups, I love saving trash to turn into treasure, I love scavenging.
But they are past my limit. I am now quite enjoying comfort. I bought a house for far more than I ever imagined, and I'm improving it to hopefully sell for even more - and to enjoy in the meantime. Luxury appliances aren't going to hurt my resale value. Though TBH, they are *not* luxury; they're LG, highest reviews in Consumer Reports, and were on a massive sale. They're more of an investment for my quality of life in terms of quality of laundry (which is more important to me than is probably normal), and by getting stackables it frees up a nice area by the mudroom door. I have no regrets.
And this is how I want to live my life until I die - I want to be able to get high quality things at a good price, when I want. And I don't want all the time - I'm not switching things out for colors or anything like that. I just want a solid life, with showers. And I want to share abundance.
This desire for comfort means I'll have to stay in the rat race longer, to pay off this too-expensive house and have sufficient savings.
Though I don't know what will come next. I do not really imagine being old here, this place is too blah. But I do not know where I will go, what I will do.
No plans to do office work this weekend, nothing urgent ... though I still brought my laptop home in case I feel motivated to work on a big project a few weeks out.
Lots of cleaning ahead - unsure how my house gets so dirty in a week, but there are also those few last moving-in tasks of cleaning, like scrubbing down unused guestroom cabinet interiors. I also have to organize better - have a few last boxes to unpack and put items away, and then I need to organize dresser drawers, linen closet, and figure out better organization for my office closet. I have yard work; managing all the windfall fruit, and I think the apples in the front yard are ready so picking and sharing/saving them; continuing to chop down the branches that godson and I hacked down last weekend so that they fit in the compost bin. I need to go buy a weed whacker and hit some spots which will worsen since we've got some rain. (Yard work is easy with no rain for months - I let the grass all die and then I dont' have to cut it.) I need to reach out about next landscaping steps, including getting that fig tree taken out. It has heaps of green fruit on it so we'll probably wait, but I really want it gone. It disrupts the flow of the backyard because of placement and hugeness, and because I'm so allergic I have to keep away from it. All the little moving-in tasks continue, like replacing doorknobs, putting up hooks. I have a lovely bookshelf that I got for free, and I need to fix a hinge on it. I also need to clean the outside of my house - at least the windows and knock down the spider webs and such. I've been putting that off until cooler weather and I think that's now.
Laundry, of course, and the last time with these workhorse machines. On Monday I will give away my washer and dryer, with the expectation that next Saturday my new ones will be delivered. The new ones are fancy AF, very highly rated, and at 50% off almost exactly as much as the bonus I got at work. I'll stack them to give me space by the backdoor to put tools, etc. I don't want left outside.
Food is big. I've been eating like a feral dependent, with restaurants and prepared foods and whatever I can pick off the tress in the backyard (the green plums are quite tasty). I really need to get back into planning and cooking. Hopefully no food preservation this week, unless I need to deal with pears. I've done so much and I think that's where all my energies have gone - five different types of jam, canning the rest of the 5 gallons of plums that godson and I picked last week, and then processing a big bunch of tiny, wormy windfall apples to can into only a pint and a half. A lot of work for what? And I don't even care for applesauce (though do use it for baking). I baked a plum dessert and shared with the little free pantry nearby, and I'll keep doing that. As I get back into cooking, I'll have more food to share. I'd like to do things like a big pot of red beans in the crockpot every Monday. Easy routines to feed myself and others. I will bake sourdough for the first time in this house, and I'm very
excited to be eating my bread again. Maybe Ill bake two days in a row
to have to share. I need to get another pan for baking. I hope my oven
works right - I haven't used it yet.
I called around to get the hot tub removed. I think it's just too icky for me. I'm not a fan of them in general though do recognize how they would help with my chronic pain, but it's just too mildewy and was unused too long and I can actually see scratches like from rats trying to get into the panel. That's too much. So Ill spend $500 to get rid of it, and then I can really clean my patio corners. Figure out if I want to do something to make the concrete look nicer. I'll probably expand the shed area that adjoins it, but that's a project for next year. Maybe I can get some nice patio furniture on clearance.
We're definitely transitioning into fall. Cooler weather is quite pleasant, and we even had some rain for the first time in months.
Oh, I have to go get new shoes. I saw an orthopedics specialist and one issue with my feet means I need thicker insoles but the boots I wear to work don't have any space because another problem is that I have thick bone growth at my midfoot where my arthritis is really bad. So I need to sort that out. Maybe it will be as painless as the bra shopping I did last week? Here's hoping.
I need to sort out my guest bed. I have a frame I got for free that I need to set up, and go to friend's house and get the boards we used as a foundation and also the mattress i left there, and then get a new mattress to replace that one. The frame I'm leaving there is quite high and the mattress very thick, so it made the bed ridiculously high. I'll separate it - putting the thick mattress on a low frame and buy a thinner mattress for the high frame. It's just some coordinating and moving and such, but better to do now before we run into rainy season.
OK, a very thrilling weekend ahead. I feel great, at 8 am on Saturday. By Monday I may be depressed, but I have to work to pay the bills and buy the fancy appliances. If I can get all this stuff done, I can focus on my next two big tasks: yard and kitchen. The landscaper guy and I will not see eye-to-eye on a number of things and I'm rather surprised at his lack of knowledge about some things, but I think I know enough to get what I want from him. I've seen his work and really liked it, so I think I'll go with him. Just need to get that rolling. And then for the kitchen, I need a hand getting really good measurements, planning for new appliances, and then I need to go spend a day at Ikea looking at the cabinet models and meeting with a designer. Make the order and plan the other steps like electrician and plumber and flooring, etc. I think I'll start that in earnest in mid-October, after a really big project at work when I hopefully have some breathing space for a minute. A friend from out of town who visited and previously used to mud drywall nicely said she'd come give a hand on that, and Friend is committed to helping. Once the plans start coming together, maybe I can plan for a week off work to really focus on it. If i can get the kitchen all done by the end of the year, and as I'm working on yard, I'll turn my attention to fixing the bathroom. Definitely new sink cabinet, and toilet, and lights and such. Rip tiles off wall to re-drywall (thanks for friends who have those skills). The issue is the bathtub - it's very flaky (like it had been refinished and it's coming up), and there is a very thick, ugly surround with holes in it that needs to come off.
But I'm not focusing on bathroom now. I'm going step by step, and this first step is finishing the move in.
I'm really worried that Friend just got scammed out of her life savings.
I called her yesterday, as her text replies had been brief and she sort of cryptically said she wasn't available after work this week. I had seen her on Sunday, and I was kind of annoyed as she had monopolized the time of friends who'd driven down to see me. On MOnday, I swung by her house swiftly to pick something up. i"d texted in between, and finally made her answer the phone on Thursday. "I can't talk about it, the FBI said I can't talk about it."
Well, that got my attention, right?
She said that her retirement account had been hacked through her (new) computer with check requests made by hackers, and it was international so the FBI involved and she was told not to talk about it. I got some details, but I didn't push her too much as she was trying to obey the feds.
But the more I thought about it, the more concerned I became. I texted in the morning, "You independently confirmed the numbers of the people you spoke with, right?" She didn't respond so I called this evening. And the more she tells me, the sketchier it sounds.
I'm so afraid she's just had her life savings stolen. And I feel guilty that I wasn't there to help her avoid this, even while knowing I needed to move out for my own space and I was right here. She could have called me to check. She didn't have to hide it.
She's worked so hard all her life and she really wanted to go to part-time when she turns 65 next year. If this was a scam that just took her life savings, it is awful. And unfortunately of course the people she needs to call aren't there until Tuesday. She can't sleep, she's been so upset about it. She shut down, and I was trying to be gentle.
I thought that I'd already made it clear she should run things like this by me. I don't know everything, but I've dealt with hackers and the FBI before. And I recognize bullshit.
Scammers have gotten really expert and it's scary AF. I really hope they didn't just fuck my friend over.
